I’m ready for whatever harsh criticism you are going to throw at me, but I need advice.
I’m the type of chick that don’t give a flying hell about anybody’s feelings. I have a tough hide and everyone who embraces my presence can sense it. I used to be this sweet girl, but after getting screwed multiple times I just don’t seem to care about anybody.
I’m writing you because although I have this I don’t give a f**k attitude I think I might have made one of the biggest mistakes ever and something deep down is telling me to give a care, but I simply don’t.
I’m a 21 year old female and I’m messing around with my mom’s husband. My mom is 42 years old, and her boyfriend is 38 years old. They have been together for 5 years. Every time I see him I just get this feeling. He’s very attractive and have a unique swag about him.
I started messing with him when I was 17 years old. One day, I went over to my mom’s crib and he was there alone drinking beers. We began to talk and I eased my way over to him. He was resistant at first, but that just made me more excited. I low-key seduced him and our affair began. Every time my mom is gone I come over and have sex with him.
My mom and him got married in June of last year and we were intimate right afterwards. LOL. You see, I don’t care. I really don’t. The only problem is that I’m pregnant and I don’t know how to break the news to him or my mom. I know for a fact he’s not going to leave my mom because I’ve asked him over and over again, but it’s like what do I have to lose. I can’t get what I want which is him so why should he keep what he treats so poorly which is my mom. I don’t want to hurt her, but my child deserves to have a father right?
Funny thing is that my mom is so oblivious to what’s going on. I sometimes ask myself why my mom is such an airhead. I’ve made some inappropriate remarks about toward him and she just laughs it off. Like one time I said he had a nice butt in his jeans and squeezed his cheeks and my mom laughed. Come on now, it’s like she’s in denial or something.
I thought about having an abortion to just mask everything, and I’ve also thought about moving to a new city to put this in the past and start new without hurting my mom, but the way my mind frame set up, NAH I PASS! I guess I’m writing you to ask what would you tell a friend, loved on or sibling to do in this situation? – I Laugh At Your Pain
Dear Ms. I Laugh At Your Pain,
Well, since you’re such a boss-a** bish, and you don’t give a f**k about anyone and their feelings, then why don’t you just sit your mom and her husband down and confront her with the news that you’ve been sleeping with her husband for the past several years, and then share the news that you’re pregnant.
Yes, you’re such a bad a** and you’re that one. So, why are you asking me for advice on what you should do? You got this under control. You’re doing exactly what you want to do, and getting what you want out of this. Therefore, nothing I say will change your behavior, your callousness, your crude behavior, or your repugnant ways. Why are you writing to me seeking insights on what I would tell a loved one, friend, or sibling?
None of my friends, loved ones, or siblings would do anything so vile, repulsive, and ignorant as you. I know that no one in my inner circle would be so cruel, trifling, low-down, gutter, disgusting, and hoe-ish as to lay down and sleep with another family member’s mate or partner. That’s what birds, donkeys, and people with no soul do. I don’t know people like that.
You wrote in with the hopes of me bashing you, berating you, and demeaning you, but I don’t have to do that. You’ve already done that to yourself. You’ve already destroyed your mother. You’ve already destroyed your family. You’ve already destroyed yourself. Why do I need to go in on you when you’ve already admitted that you have no remorse or any regrets for your behavior?
You and your mom’s husband will get what is coming to you. Oh, and by the way, if you think you’re the only side chick your mom’s husband is sleeping with, well, uhm, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not. If he can easily and effortlessly cheat and sleep around on your mother with you, then please know he’s sleeping with other women as well. You’re not that special, especially since you’re begging and asking him to leave his wife for you. Why would he? You’re a hoe. He’s not going to run off and play house with you. He sees you for who you are, and he knows that he is dead wrong, but, he’s not going to leave the confines of his comforts to play into your game. He’s an a**hole, lowlife bum.
I hope your mother does learn the truth about the both of you. Therefore, she can get rid of you both, and she can move on with her life less the drama, heartache, and backstabbing. Who needs two conniving illiterate incompetent mentally deranged people around them?
Honestly, I want to know what are you getting out of this? How are you benefiting by sleeping with your own mother’s husband? There is obviously some mental issues going on with you. For you to knowingly sleep with your own mother’s husband, and to seduce him and continue sleeping with him has some sick demented elements in it. You can’t possible feel or think that what you’re doing is okay, or there is some type of real love you harbor for your mother, or her husband. Something has happened to you, or better yet, someone happened to you and destroyed your innocence, your mind, your spirit, and who you are as a woman.
I truly feel sorry for you because you are lost. You are hurting, and you’re lashing out in hopes to get a rise out of people. You’re hurting no one but yourself with your behavior, and now you’re willing to cause your mother heartache and heartbreak because you don’t love yourself. Because someone else did you wrong, someone took and stole from you, and here you are taking and stealing from your own mother. You are taking your pain, anger, and hurt out on your own mother because someone else didn’t give you what you wanted, or treat you how you felt you needed to be treated, and they walked out on you and were callous and cruel. So, you are returning the favor to your own mother by sleeping with her husband. You need to be in therapy. You need to professional counseling to help you deal with your inner demons, and your hurt, pain, and anger. You are lashing out at the wrong person, and you need help.
So, Ms. Bad A**, please do be your brave and uncaring callous cold, and don’t give a f**k attitude with your mother and tell her the truth. You have the nerve and gall to sleep with her husband, then be woman enough to tell her the truth. Be your heartless, and soul-less self and wreck havoc on your own family. Tell the woman who gave birth to you, who raised you, who was there for you while you were sick, nursed you, loved you, cared for you, took care of you, did everything for you, and was at the school meetings, your graduation, your events, your shoulder to cry on in time of need, and who would bend over backwards for you. Go ahead and tell her what you’ve been doing, and how you are thanking her for everything she’s done for you by sleeping with her husband, and that you’re pregnant by him. – Terrance Dean
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Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!