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2. A Framed “Couples” Pic

In your eyes this might seem like the perfect sentiment. We’re sorry to break it to you but it’s not. Whether you want to accept that your man is “like that” or not, he secretly loathes this gift. He might put it on a shelf or desk to appease you, but on the low low he couldn’t care less.

4. Sex

Brace yourself for the harsh truth. No matter how hard you smack it, flip it or rub it down, sex cannot replace a real gift. If you’re in a healthy relationship and are having sex on a regular basis anyway, dressing it up and lighting some candles around the room doesn’t magically make it a gift. Would you prefer peen over a new pair of Jimmy Choo’s? Exactly.

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5. Cooking A ‘Romantic’ Dinner

You might get an A for effort but if you’re going for a meaningful, memorable or remotely exciting gift you’re missing the mark with this one. A man has to eat regardless of how long you spent cooking it, or how pretty it is. Even if he appreciates the time you spent, he secretly hates that you consider making him a meal, a gift.

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7. Couples Spa Time

You know that sinking feeling when you think you’re unwrapping gifts and just as you think you finally got that bag you’ve been hinting about it turns out to be a new set of pans? Yeah, this is the male equivalent. Couples spa time isn’t really a gift for him.

9. Kinky Coupons

Even though it’s a cute idea, he secretly despises this. Just because it’s cute doesn’t make it a real gift. If you’re his lady he shouldn’t need a piece of paper to tell him when he can get freaky.

10. Any Type Of Underwear, Especially Anything ‘Love’ Themed

No better way to knock down a man’s dignity than buy making him seduce you in red briefs covered in heart eyes.

Just – don’t – do it.

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