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#BreaktheInternet: Amanda Bynes. Having spent years out of the spotlight, Bynes steps back in and opens up about her tumultuous — and remarkable — journey. #linkinbio Story by @abbyschreiber28 Photos by @daniellelevitt Art Direction by @dwndwntwn Styling by @neverhavetotweet Hair by @samiknighthair Makeup by @edwardcruzmakeup Set Design by @_coopervasquez_ Fashion Direction: @miaasolkin
Amanda Bynes Blames Drug Use For Downward Spiral
It’s not hard to recall a time when everything Amanda Bynes tweeted was cringeworthy, but the actress is attempting to put all that behind her and has a refreshingly candid interview with Paper Magazine for their annual “Break the Internet” cover story. It turns out that Bynes wasn’t suffering from mental illness AT ALL — she was on drugsssssssss.
“I started smoking marijuana when I was 16. Even though everyone thought I was the ‘good girl,’ I did smoke marijuana from that point on.” She tells Paper Mag, “I didn’t get addicted [then] and I wasn’t abusing it. And I wasn’t going out and partying or making a fool of myself… yet.”
Before the CBD lovers jump on her — it wasn’t kush that had Amanda acting a fool. She actually blames Adderall.
“Later on it progressed to doing molly and ecstasy,” she says matter-of-factly. “[I tried] cocaine three times but I never got high from cocaine. I never liked it. It was never my drug of choice.” One drug she admits she started taking on a regular basis, however, was Adderall. “I definitely abused Adderall,” she says.
Around the time of Hairspray, she remembers “reading an article in a magazine that [called Adderall] ‘the new skinny pill’ and they were talking about how women were taking it to stay thin. I was like, ‘Well, I have to get my hands on that.'” Like many of her fellow millennials experimenting with the amphetamine in their teenage or college-aged years, Bynes says she was able to get a prescription after going “to a psychiatrist and faking the symptoms of ADD.”
“When I was doing Hall Pass, I remember being in the trailer and I used to chew the Adderall tablets because I thought they made me [more] high [that way],” she says. “I remember chewing on a bunch of them and literally being scatterbrained and not being able to focus on my lines or memorize them for that matter.”
It only got worse from there. Amanda’s drug use affected her perception of her onscreen appearance so much that she did’t want to act anymore.
It was “the mixture of being so high that I couldn’t remember my lines and not liking my appearance” that prompted Bynes to pull out of the film — despite reports that later emerged to the contrary alleging she’d been fired. “I made a bunch of mistakes but I wasn’t fired. I did leave… it was definitely completely unprofessional of me to walk off and leave them stranded when they’d spent so much money on a set and crew and camera equipment and everything.”
A few months after walking away from Hall Pass, Bynes recalls attending a screening of her last film, Easy A, and “having a different reaction than everyone else to the movie.” Not unlike her discomfort on the Hall Pass set, she elaborates that “I literally couldn’t stand my appearance in that movie and I didn’t like my performance. I was absolutely convinced I needed to stop acting after seeing it.” She continues, “I was high on marijuana when I saw that but for some reason it really started to affect me. I don’t know if it was a drug-induced psychosis or what, but it affected my brain in a different way than it affects other people. It absolutely changed my perception of things.”
Hit the flip for details on why she decided to retire on Twitter and how she feels about those infamous Drake tweets.
On her acting retirement:
“I saw it and I was convinced that I should never be on camera again and I officially retired on Twitter, which was, you know, also stupid,” she says wryly. “If I was going to retire [the right way], I should’ve done it in a press statement — but I did it on Twitter. Real classy! But, you know, I was high and I was like, ‘You know what? I am so over this’ so I just did it. But it was really foolish and I see that now. I was young and stupid.”
After quitting her acting career Amanda began spending her days wake and baking and being stoned all day long. She also started hanging with what she describes as a “seedier crowd” and isolating alot.
“I got really into my drug usage and it became a really dark, sad world for me.” She sums up her life back then as one in which she “was just stuck at home, getting high, watching TV and tweeting.”
“I’m really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said. I can’t turn back time but if I could, I would. And I’m so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad,” Bynes says. “Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter.” But, she adds, “it’s definitely not Twitter’s fault — it’s my own fault.”
Super sad right?
Continue for more from Amanda’s story
Amanda is now four years sober and attending classes at FIDM to get her Associate’s of Art degree in Merchandise Product Development. She’ll have her Associates this year and plans to continue and get her Bachelor’s degree.
She credits her parents for helping her get sober and also offered some sage advice to other people out there experimenting with drugs:
“My advice to anyone who is struggling with substance abuse would be to be really careful because drugs can really take a hold of your life,” she says “Everybody is different, obviously, but for me, the mixture of marijuana and whatever other drugs and sometimes drinking really messed up my brain. It really made me a completely different person. I actually am a nice person. I would never feel, say or do any of the things that I did and said to the people I hurt on Twitter.”
She continues, “There are gateway drugs and thankfully I never did heroin or meth or anything like that but certain things that you think are harmless, they may actually affect you in a more harmful way. Be really, really careful because you could lose it all and ruin your entire life like I did.”
Now that was a doozy right? All that considered we learned a few things about Amanda BESIDES Adderall turned her life upside down, such as — she likes Post Malone, loved wearing No Fear brand growing up and deserves credit for putting the world onto Channing Tatum.
“I totally fought for Channing [to get cast in] that movie because he wasn’t famous yet. He’d just done a Mountain Dew commercial and I was like, ‘This guy’s a star — every girl will love him!’ But [the producers] were like, ‘He’s so much older than all of you!’ And I was like, ‘It doesn’t matter! Trust me!'”