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Mike and Shea Ready To Love

Source: Janeé Bolden / Janeé Bolden

Stars Of OWN Network Dating Show Talk About Dating On TV

Will Packer had a hit on his hands with OWN’s “Ready to Love” and the show actually ended in two love matches. Alexx, who found his match with Ashlee and Mike and Shea, who seemed to fall in love at first sight. Weeks before the cast reunited to revisit the ups and downs of the show, BOSSIP sat down with Mike and Shea to talk about the experience.

BOSSIP: Do you think you two would have met if you hadn’t done the show?

Shea: I don’t see how we could have, because I have a certain route and I don’t detour, I don’t hang out. I worked for the radio station but even then I chose not to be out, I’d be in the station running the boards. I’m just not a going out person. And I enjoy naps.

BOSSIP: You guys were locked in from day one — was it love at first sight?

Shea: For me the attraction was there, Mike did something that I don’t typically like, he did the come here [motions with her finger].

Mike: Soon as she walked in.

Shea: And that was it. The conversation was fun, it wasn’t too heavy. He wasn’t trying to interrogate me, he had roots going back to the Midwest and he was funny and I could laugh.

BOSSIP: Do you think it’s really that hard dating in Atlanta?

Mike: Anything with Black folks gets a bad rap. Africa, Atlanta. I think Atlanta is a beautiful place, it’s the Wakanda of America. It’s thriving. You’ve got a bunch of young black entrepreneurs, the government is not holding you back.

For me, as far as dating was concerned, because I don’t go to clubs, I don’t go to lounges, I’ve been here four or five years and people are like, where have you been?

I go to bed at like 10. And if I go to the gym I’m not going to ask someone to remove their headphones to talk to me, I’m not shy or anything like that. I think people don’t self reflect enough, they just put it on the location. Because if you’re having problems dating in Atlanta, you’ll have problems in California or anywhere else.

BOSSIP: What do you think made you guys’ situation go so much more smoothly than some of the others?

Shea: What I like about Mike is we bounce a lot of ideas off each other, we both have unconventional lifestyles. I might say, ‘I can’t go to dinner, I’m too tired,’ and he’s fine with that. I’m not at a point anymore where I’m pressed about anything. If he’s busy I trust him, if I don’t see him today I’ll see him tomorrow.

Mike: And it makes a man miss a woman. I’m not used to that. You don’t want it to become like washing dishes, damn I gotta wash the dishes. I don’t have to check in, She’s checking on and I like that about her.

Shea: He has to have his personal space. You need to have your space on your own, outside of me and I gotta respect that, just like I may not want to be bothered everyday all day long either. We’ve got to respect each other’s boundaries and personal space. I do that with my son. I built a room in my garage for him to have his own little man cave so he doesn’t have to be up under me all the time.

This show is about compatibility, not a competition. People keep saying it’s a competition. All of the women are beautiful. All the women have something to bring to the table. Mike isn’t going to work for every chick and every dude is not gonna work for me. I understood that early on.

BOSSIP: One of the conflicts you had was that Mike wants kids and Shea, your first experience with motherhood was rough. How did you guys work past that?

Shea: It was rough. He [her ex] put me through it, but I had to take into account he was young, we both had no idea what we were doing, we both were young. We weren’t compatible. It would be like buying a house with someone and then being like, no you do it, you got it.

Mike: I think the misconception was that I was asking for a child right now. We don’t know each other well enough to say ‘Hey let’s have a child,’ it’s more so of — she had postpartum depression. I didn’t know anything about that, a lot of men don’t, so it was just like ‘Why wouldn’t you want to have a child?’ When she broke it down to me I had to understand from that aspect. I never had a child before. So I just had to understand and be patient. She’s open now, so now that we know she is open, when we get to that point we’re like okay, first we’re going to get married, because marriage is supposed to come before a baby. I didn’t wait 39 years to just throw a baby in somebody.

I really do want to have a baby, but I didn’t want to let this woman go because everything about her is so dope. That’s why I learned patience too, because it was something so strong I took the time to find out why. I understand now and with time she said, ‘I could see you being a good father, so if we get to the point of marriage I would be willing to have children with you.’

Hit the flip for more from this beautiful couple.

Mike and Shea Ready To Love

Source: Janeé Bolden / Janeé Bolden

BOSSIP: A big turning point in your relationship comes after he’s locked in a room with Shatava and Shea, you threatened to leave the retreat. Did you appreciate him more after he came after you?

Shea: I think they took two different situations and mashed them together. The problem was, I came there tired. My son just came in town, I came in from my shop. It’s like when you have a bad day. When you are typically rested and feeling good it may not be that big of an issue. I was just grumpy coming in and trying to make the best of it and I had customers like, ‘You gone get my shirts? You gone get my shirts?’ And my son was like ‘Mom what do I do with this?’ So all that was in my head and it was three hours away, so I was just with the smoke – anything anybody said, anything anybody did. When the subject came up, it was like ‘Yea let’s get to the bottom of this.’ It really had nothing to do with Mike and Shatava, because what could they really do in a room when it’s a bunch of people?

We had already established the fact that there was no emotional connection there and I don’t think Shatava — regardless of the way some people felt about how she dressed — she’s really a respectable woman and I don’t think she would play herself like that. I couldn’t see her playing herself like that.

It let me know that he really cared about me, because despite what people were thinking, I was doing it because I was tired, I wasn’t doing it to have Mike come after me. I’d had enough and I was ready to go home. I done left places before and left family members in the middle of the night hours from home and for me I had had enough, but with him coming after me that let me know he really cared. Mike went after what he loved.

Mike:
I’m the type of person, even when I’m upset, I’m a very logical person, I’m not going to let a woman drive home at 2’o’clock. Nobody got killed or nothing, we had a disagreement. To me a man that would let himself go too far out of anger, would put his hands on a woman…

BOSSIP: Why do you think Aaron had such a difficult time on the show?

Mike: I’m real respectful, so I’m not going to be the one rubbing shoulders like ‘Hey, it’s the process.’ I wouldn’t be cool with that. I was trying to tell Aaron — don’t pull one woman on your lap, because the other women are gonna be like, ‘I’m a human being, I’m not a video game that you plug in.’

He’s not too young, he’s right where he needs to be yet, by the time he’s 39 he’ll be right where he needs to be. I’m not where Nephew Tommy is. Some of the things Nephew Tommy would say I would be like, ‘Oh damn, why didn’t I think of that?’ So I’m where I’m supposed to be. Especially after this. That reunion. They almost killed my dog. I almost grabbed him up and ran out the back door with him I was feeling so bad. He’s great guy, I love Aaron.

Shea: I know everyone thinks he’s devil spawn, but he’s a good guy. In real life guys do all the things he was doing and you don’t know until you get with somebody else and they’re saying
‘Girl, you don’t know he said this about you?’ You don’t find out until after the fact or so many months after the fact. Aaron was really pulling up with the person sitting there with the information. They were already prepared for him.

Mike: If you are in your 30’s and your 40’s and you meet a man and the first thing he does is pull his shirt up on you, and you go for it… Guess who is to blame? Yo a**, I think he’s getting too much of the blame, but c’mon — he pulled his shirt up. Of course people got upset, but Aaron said ‘It isn’t what I say, it’s what I do.’ You deserve everything after that.

BOSSIP: We wouldn’t be Bossip if we didn’t ask if you guys were smashing to smithereens…

Mike: Have we consummated? Smizzash.. I put her in all kinda — wait, yo mama is gonna read this? We are taking our time to get to know each other and we’re doing things different.

Shea: I never had that before. One of the things I had an issue with being single and dating is, I’m a homebody — so does that mean when you invite somebody over they think you gonna smash them? I’ve never had nobody take time and step back. After it happens it’s like ok what do we do now? Then it becomes this sensitive area where if you do it — everything means something. ‘Oh sh** he didn’t open the door…’ and you just take yourself to that anxiety place. So to have someone spending time without it — I’m gonna take my time, because that’s going to be there forever. Everyone’s plumbing is working, the womb is good.

Thanks for reading! We’re wishing this beautiful couple the best of luck. If you haven’t watched “Ready To Love” you can find all the episodes on the OWN website and on demand. It’s a great show.

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