10 Easy Ways To Lose 20 Pounds Before Homecoming

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Tips & Tricks To Lose Weight Before Homecoming

Let’s be real, you’re not losing 20 (or 10 or even 5–well, maybe 5 but probably not) pounds before Homecoming this weekend. Sorry, it ain’t happening–not even a lil bit. At this point, you’re stuck with that Santa gut, kangaroo pouch or post-grad 30 pounds and should just focus on perfecting this weekend’s drip.

We already know if you got chunky or dusty since graduation. It’s in the Groupchat. And that’s OK–people got bills, kids, toxic exes, Sallie Mae stalkers, 90° weather in October–life is stressful, we get it.

Just make sure the dopest possible you shows up to GHOE, Spelhouse or Hampton University‘s (underrated) Homecoming this weekend (YES, ALL THE SAME EXACT WEEKEND).

Seriously, we’re on your side (and want you to get chose) so check out our helpful (or maybe not-so-helpful) trips and tricks for winning this Homecoming weekend.

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10. That lettuce & water Homecoming diet should’ve started months ago but you might shed exactly 1 pound these next few days. Only a stomach virus could knock off 20 pounds by Saturday.

9. A dope jean jacket covers your pudge while delivering a statement and it’s not too late to cop (and customize) one. Run to Levis.com right now for their 70% off sale or just hit up your friendly neighborhood thrift stores.

8. This goes without saying but if the spanx fits, wear it. *Jean jackets are spanx for men.

7. Wearing Black A) shaves down man boobs and B) shaves off 10-15 pounds (especially a turtleneck or tight collared shirt). So, consider wearing Black.

6. No fast food, bread, sweets or liquor until Saturday. Only leafy greens and water.

5. Positive vibes only.

4. Joggers are your best friend. Wear them if you’re worried about looking busted-can-of-biscuits-y in jeans.

3. No sweatshirts (unless they’re fitted). They make you look fluffy.

2. A dope haircut/hairstyle makes you look successful (while canceling out weight gain) and that’s pretty much the whole entire purpose of Homecoming. That, and flexing on fellow alumni.

1. PRAYER. Those fly camo pants you want to wear this weekend might not fit today but, with the power of prayer and God’s grace, might fit Saturday, Amen.