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It could easily be predicted that Florida would be the first faceass state to open public property back to the masses in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic.

That said, cotdammit, Florida, why can’t you ever prove us wrong for once.

According to DailyMail, the beaches of Jacksonville, Florida will officially re-open tonight. Republican Mayor Lenny Curry says he’s “encouraged” by the flattening of the curve and will open Duval County up at 5pm for “essential activities only”.

‘This can be the beginning of the pathway back to normal life,’ he said on Thursday. ‘Please respect and follow these limitations. Stay within the guidelines for your safety as well as for the safety of your neighbors.’

Please, reasonable people in Florida, if you’re out there, please don’t listen to Lenny Curry. He’s a moron. No medical professional has advised a return to public congregation. Lenny Curry is looking for an invite to drink Coca-Cola out of Donald Trump shoes and he most certainly does not have your health as a priority.

Curry’s move means residents can go for a walk, swim, surf, run or fish, as long as they adhering to social distancing guidelines. However, sunbathing, camping overnight and gatherings of more than 50 people will be banned.

We’re not sure what can possibly be “essential” about kicking it at the beach but those who venture off to soak in the rona-laden air will get exactly what they deserve.



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