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Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots Visit White House

Source: Boston Globe / Getty

Some of you may not be old enough to remember, but back in the ’90s when Full House was a hit TV show there were a bevy of catchphrases employed by several characters. One of the fan-favorites that was regularly used by Michelle Tanner was, “Oh puh-lease!” It’s a cynical phrase that suggests that the listener doesn’t believe the speaker. It was literally the first thing we heard in our head when we read this news.

Yesterday, we reported that New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick would be receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom from his pal Donald Trump. Late last night, ESPN reported that this would no longer be happening because Belichick had decided to turn down the highest civilian award that can be bestowed in light of the alabaster anarchy at the Capitol last week.

Belichick released a statement “explaining” why he is turning it down:

“Recently I was offered the opportunity to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, which I was flattered by out of respect for what the honor represents and admiration for prior recipients. Subsequently, the tragic events of last week occurred and the decision has been made not to move forward with the award.

He continued:

“Above all, I am an American citizen with great reverence for our nation’s values, freedom and democracy. I know I also represent my family and the New England Patriots team. One of the most rewarding things in my professional career took place in 2020 when, through the great leadership within our team, conversations about social justice, equality and human rights moved to the forefront and became actions.

“Continuing those efforts while remaining true to the people, team and country I love outweigh the benefits of any individual award.”

Translation: “Cotdammit, Donald, you made the block so muthaf***in’ hot and your brand is so muthaf***in’ toxic that I can’t even accept this coveted award that I want really, really badly because it will make me look crazy af! WTF, bro?!?”

“We don’t believe you, you need more people.” –Jay-Z

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