Chrissy Teigen legitimately doesn’t know what to do with herself when she’s not spending a lot of time on social media.
The cookbook author–who was once known for her presence on Twitter–has taken a step back from the platform after being “canceled” over some past allegations of bullying. Now, she’s letting fans know that she really isn’t doing well without the ability to speak her mind, especially if that means not being able to communicate openly with her followers.
Teigen posted a photo of her legs propped up on the couch along with a lengthy caption explaining how her life’s been going recently.
“Iiiii don’t really know what to say here…just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter s**t in real life,” she wrote. “Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer. I feel lost and need to find my place again,I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay. I’m not used to any other way!!”
“Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot,” she continued. “Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow. All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just…tired of being sick with myself all day. I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno. I can’t do this silent s**t anymore!”
She wrote, “If you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch! Thank u and goodbye I love u.”