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We’re not the least bit shocked because…Florida but we certainly are appalled.

Armed woman with hood

Source: Mario Marco / Getty

Florida, Florida, Florida, there is always some f**ks#!t happening in the not-so-great state of Florida. Today’s latest accounting of Sunshine State shenanigans comes from the city of Jupiter which might as well be the planet considering the many strange creatures that live there but we digress.

According to NBCNews, 51-year-old Daniel Slater was arrested last year and accused of murder for hire, possession with intent to distribute a controlled substance, and conspiracy to possess. Peep how insane this is. Slater believed that his ex’s family had sabotaged his relationship and he offered an associate money and drugs to murder the ex, her sister, and her sister’s husband.

The FBI began investigating Slater in February of last year after a woman named Brianne Slabaugh was found dead in Miami. Slabaugh was told to spy on Slater’s ex, meet her new boyfriend, and kill him. However, Slabaugh died of an accidental drug overdose before the deed was done. The investigation led detectives to Slater’s friend who eventually turned state’s evidence against him. The unnamed associate wore a wire and met Slater to get all the gory details of how he wanted his ex killed.

During a meeting in June 2020, Slater detailed how he wanted the associate to kill his ex-girlfriend, officials said. According to the complaint, the associate was instructed to knock out the woman’s teeth, break her nose and throw acid on her face.

The friend turned informant was also told to murder the woman’s sister and husband and was driven to their home where he was shown exactly how to do the killing.

“Slater pointed out a window in the home, explained how [the sister] and her [husband] sat in their living room at specific times, and told the [associate] to shoot the victims through the window during one of those times,” according to the complaint.

After killing all parties involved, Slater told the man to spray paint “Black Lives Matter” on the house to make it appear that the slayings were some kind of racial retribution hate crime during the unrest surrounding the George Floyd murder.

Wicked, wicked, stuff. Slater faces 90 years in prison if convicted, however, a potential plea deal would get him a maximum of 10 years.

We’d prefer the 90 years, your honor.

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