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Michelle “Poker Face” Thomas may be a guest of the state for a long time, but you can see by her sh*it-eating grin that she’s not sweating it. Pop the hood.

Michelle was not pleased with her husband’s way with the wood so she did what any totally sane wife would do, took some scissors to him. Check out this Houston Press story.

​To look at the mugshot of 26-year-old Michelle Thomas, you might not think you were seeing someone who was facing a possible two- to 20-year prison sentence for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Nope. Instead, the native of the East Texas town of Hudson looks like she might be thinking, “Yeah, y’all might have me locked up, but it was so totally worth it.”

“It” in this case is the alleged scissors-slashing of her common-law husband, who police found in the couple’s home in the wee hours of Tuesday morning bleeding from minor cuts to his chest, left thumb and left knee.

Thomas said the unnamed hubby had come home drunk and tried to rough her up and that she had only defended herself. But she had no visible injuries, so that seemed unlikely.

The police found the husband’s tale far more believable, likely because the husband was so willing to cast himself in such an unfavorable light, his story just had to be true.

Namely, he said Thomas had slashed him with scissors for being a lousy lay.

Thomas was being held in the Angelina County Jail as of [Tuesday] morning

We get the feeling Thomas might like being locked up with the ladies….




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