Regina King Opens Up About Son's Passing With 'Harper's Bazaar'

Regina King is opening up about the tragic passing of her son, Ian Alexander Jr., in her cover story for Harper’s BAZAAR. The Shirley actress says she’s learning to live with the immeasurable loss of her son since his painful 2022 death by suicide.

Source: Luis Alberto Rodriguez / Harper’s BAZAAR

According to the Hollywood veteran who was profiled in the mag’s “The Possibility” issue, grief is a never-ending journey.

“One of the things I’ve learned on this journey is that gratitude and sadness are not mutually exclusive; they’re always working at the same time,” King, 53, told the fashion publication. 

“I just have to navigate this. Sometimes it’s minute by minute.”

Source: Kevin Mazur/AMA2019 / Getty

Throughout her grieving process, The Boondocks star has formed a close relationship with several mothers who have gone through the pain of losing a child. They have helped her to process Ian’s death at just 26 years old. 

 “I’m aware when I talk to other mothers—and I hate that we share this because I feel like I don’t want anyone to share this, but because we do share it, they have just taught me so much,” the Tinseltown star said in Harper’s BAZAAR. 

“Having those women in my life reminding me of the importance of not isolating—because it’s really easy to isolate, especially when the majority of people in the world have no idea whatsoever of this level of grief. But talking to women who are like, ‘It’s not going to go away.’ At least I know that. … One thing that I feel like every mother that I talk to feels like is that no one could have prepared me for this. No one told me this part. There’s something about them, 11 years, 12 years later—the grief is still there. So at least I know. I do know that. And I think even without them telling me that, I feel that inside. I think they just confirmed that for me. I read somewhere that grief is love with no place to go, and I was like, ‘Huh…yeah … that does sum it up in some way.’”

Source: Luis Alberto Rodriguez / Harper’s BAZAAR

Regina King Opens Up About Her Son’s Struggle With Depression

During her candid sit down with writer Salamishah Tillet, the One Night in Miami director revealed that her son battled with depression before his untimely departure.

Source: Luis Alberto Rodriguez / Harper’s BAZAAR

She and her family did everything in their power to help Ian “move through” the challenging condition.

“I mean, he’s pure joy and pure light,” she recalled of her son’s bright personality. “We knew. We knew what we were going through, but he never presented that way. That’s why I know that a smile doesn’t always mean happy. He would never not let whoever he was with feel like they were the most special person in the world. So for me, I’m like, ‘Man, he was putting a lot into things, a lot into people, a lot into this world, and yet it wasn’t translating back.’”

This year marked the second anniversary of Ian’s passing, and living without her precious son doesn’t get easier, but King told Harper’s BAZAAR that she is trying to “better understand” her new reality without her child.

“We always talk about spirit: They’re always with us in spirit. But his physical absence is so loud that it’s hard to sometimes tap into that spiritual connection.”

Regina King Speaks On Finishing Shooting Shirley A Few Months After Her Son’s Death By Suicide

Earlier this month, the actress and director made her debut as Shirley Chisholm, the first Black congresswoman, in Netflix’s highly anticipated flick, Shirley. King said it was challenging to finish the film after her son’s passing.  

Source: Luis Alberto Rodriguez / Harper’s BAZAAR

“I know Ian would have felt like if I didn’t finish something because of a choice that he needed to make, then I wasn’t honoring him,” the Ray alum said. “We all landed at the finish line on Ian’s wings. He guided us there.”

Portraying the powerful congresswoman was a lifelong dream for the star. “We’d both had too many experiences where friends had never heard of Shirley Chisholm,” King added.

“We all know women who roll up their sleeves and are able to go toe-to-toe with men—Black women. We know they exist, but we don’t get to see them out in the storytelling space. Shirley understood the game of politics, even though people’s lives were not a game to her.”

 

Read Regina King’s full interview with Harper’s BAZAAR here. The cover story will hit stands in April.