Forever Un-Loved: Top 10 Celebs Who Will Probably Die Alone

Kenya Moore

She’s completely delusional, nonsensical, irrational and psychotic BUT somewhat gorgeous and open to anything, at this point. In her twisted mind, she’s marriage material but no man will ever marry a woman who stares at them in their sleep.

Kim Kardashian

Will she ever love Kanye and their baby Kanyeia-DondaObama—or any man—more than the flashing lights and fame? Probably not, and that’s unfortunate.

Adele

Queen of the broken and scorned, she’ll never be marriage material until she finds her happy (and burns those nursing home drapes she wore to the Grammy’s). Currently at war with her baby daddy, Adele has more baggage at 24 than most women have in a lifetime.

Halle Berry

She’s the most stunning 46-year-old woman alive who also happens to be the most psychotic and unstable mixed woman in Hollywood. If you date Halle, you’re also dating the batsh*t crazy people living inside her head.

Photo credit: Instagram

Rihanna

She’s always a drug-fueled argument with Chris Brown away from an 83-hit combo and that’s scary. As long as she’s attached to Breezy (or celebrity bed-hopping), she’ll never be taken seriously by most men.

Drake

He’s the nice guy most women claim to want but usually cheat on because he’s “too nice.” If you want a sensitive man (with an Aaliyah obsession) who will paint your toenails and detangle your hair/take out your weave, he’s the one. Sadly, 96.83% of women don’t.

Keyshia Cole

The reformed hoodrat fixed her poverty-battered teeth, downgraded from two-tone to one-tone hair and found a good man but recently reverted back to her filthy ’ole hoodrat ways on Twitter. With Boobie fed up, it’s only a matter of time before she’s forever alone.

J. Lo

She can stop the world from spinning with one glorious leg but can’t keep a man? EVER? Somehow, this seems impossible but it’s J. Lo’s reality several jump-offs and husbands later.

Tahiry Jose

Any man brave enough to approach the hot-headed Cheesecake Factory server/reality star would have to find a Herpers cure remove Joe Budden and his bedazzled power vests from Earth. Good luck with that.

Taylor Swift

Known for wearing pink chastity belts and kissing for hours, the tone-deaf queen of 11-day relationships is the ultimate prude in a hyper-sexual music industry. Hopefully, she’ll find what she desperately seeks but probably won’t.