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Stans are the worst human beings on Earth. Completely-evil and relentless, stalker + fans are dark plagues upon humanity. More of a curse than gift to artists, stans devote their lives to defending famous strangers (who will never know they exist). Pathetic? Absolutely, but reality in celeb-obsessed America.
Here are the ten worst celebrity stans. Take a look.[bossip_ad_a]
BeyHive
Beyonce A$AP Bey’s legion of psychotic minions live to protect the hive. If you ever criticize their Queen, leader and reason for breathing, they pop up at your house, job or even in your dreams with baseball bats, ready to fight.[bossip_ad_a]
Team: MJ
Michael Jackson stans love every MJ complexion, tragically-sculpted nose and record ever. Insult their world, their everything, and they’ll come through your computer screen dressed like MJ in the “Bad” video. ALL of them.
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Team: Obama
President Obama has more thirsty Code: Orange groupies (disguised as supporters) than any other male celebrity, maybe ever. At times, he’s more of a GOD than political figure. Twitter search A) “President Obama can get it” B) “Obama smash oval office mistress” or C) “YAAAS” during his speeches. You’ll see.
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Justin’s “Beliebers”
Biebs’ monstrous fanbase famously threatened ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez because they didn’t like her for him. Mostly “Twilight”-obsessed tweeny-bops (with glittery pink rubber bands in their braces), they’re far more possessive and vicious than they seem.
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Team: Kobe
Basketball discussions start and end with Kobe, in the twisted minds of Kobe stans. Before Kobe, there was Kobe and after Kobe, is Kobe. Greatest to ever dribble a basketball? Kobe. Greatest in the game today? Kobe. That one night in Eagle, Colorado? Never happened. Reasoning with Kobe stans? Impossible.
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Rihanna Navy
RiRi’s unwashed fleet of hoodrats genuinely believe their dysfunctional shero can SANG. Like, in their Molly-damaged minds, she sounds exactly like Whitney Houston, not tortured tropical birds. Loyal? Yes, but the most thoroughly ratchet of ALL stans.
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Nicki’s Barbz
ThEy aLl TyPe LyK Di$. aLl 16 mIlLiOn oF DeM.
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Team: Lil Kim
The only people (in the universe) who still believe Liddo Kimmie is “beautiful” are her deeply-delusional stans. Currently embroiled in a Civil War with the Barbz, Kimmie stans patrol the internet and attack anyone who slanders their shero’s sock puppety-face.
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Lady Gaga’s Little Monsters
More like a cult than actual fanbase, Little Monsters are an army of socially-awkward weirdos and outcasts oddly-attached to Gaga. Not feeling Gaga? Never say this online because they WILL stalk you to the ends of the Earth.
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Team: Breezy
With life’s greatest cheat code comes millions of brain-damaged super-stans. For every sensible Breezy fan are thousands who yearn to be savagely-beaten by him. SMH.
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