Dear Bossip: I Can’t Stand My Boyfriend’s Brother’s Girlfriend

- By Bossip Staff

Dear Bossip,

I cannot believe I’m writing this but I need help! My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 year now and going strong.

He’s a twin and I love his family like they were my own. However, his twin has a girlfriend that I cannot stand. My boyfriend and I were having problems in our relationship and this THOT was trying to set him up with her white friends. First off, my boyfriend doesn’t even like white girls. That’s so shady.

I can’t be fake and try to make conversations, so when there are family gatherings we don’t even converse. His whole family doesn’t like her because her boyfriend lets her talk disrespectful to the family. I think she’s jealous because of the bond I have with the family that she doesn’t have and my relationship has been solid.

My mom-in-law asked her why she doesn’t like me (I knew my mom-in-law was planning to do this.) This THOT replies because I cheated on him and she didn’t want my boyfriend to get hurt. First off, she don’t like my boyfriend or talk to him, so how do you care about someone’s feelings. And cheating? Really?

I know my mom-in-law had my back and knew she was lying. I wanted to react when my mom-in-law pulled me to the side. She told me if I reacted she would win and not to let b*****s control your mood. I know she’s right, however, I am so angry! Don’t I have every right to be? How should I react?

The mom said she won’t be here for long so I shouldn’t say anything. Please help me! I asked my boyfriend has he ever said something that would make her think that back in the day. He said no. She really pulled it from her a**. I don’t understand why people can’t stand a couple being happy. – I Can’t Stand Her

Dear Ms. I Can’t Stand Her,

There’s a saying I love, and it goes, “What you feel or think about me is not any of my concern.”

You are really investing a lot of energy into someone who could really care less about you. You are so invested in what she’s saying, and what she’s doing that you are allowing her to get under your skin and irk you to the point that you want to physically harm her. You are so caught up in the drama, which I feel you are contributing to and helping to foster, that you cannot see she is only agitating you because you allow her to. Now, I ask who really is acting ghetto abrasive and ignorant?

Who cares if she tried to set your boyfriend up with another girl. Did he bite? Did he accept her advances and solicitations to go out with her friends? And, who cares if she says you are cheating. Did you? Are you? You and your boyfriend know what’s going on in your relationship, so why are you concerned about what she is saying about you two? Who the hell cares!!!

Sweetie, folks are going to talk about you whether you’re living or dead. They will always have something to say. So, let them talk. Who cares what they think, what they say, and what they feel. So long as you know what is true, and your friends and loved ones truly know what’s going on, then why does it matter if she is talking and pulling –ish out of her a**. How does this affect you? Really? How does it change your relationship with your man, and your relationship with his family? They don’t care, and they are paying her no mind, therefore, don’t you invest in it.

And, why the hell are you calling your boyfriend’s mother your “mom-in-law?” You are not married. You are not his wife. Ugh! I can’t! But, I get it. You’ve been with your boyfriend for four years and going strong! (That’s what you say). Yet, you don’t have a ring. You’re not his fiancé. Hell, he hasn’t even proposed. But, by calling his mother your mom-in-law, it sets the stage, and puts into motion and the idea that he will one day, hopefully, ask you to marry him and you become his wife. (Sips tea and gives you the side eye). You ain’t fooling nobody, girl!

Another thing, you’re so busy focusing on your boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend and her shenanigans, ready to fight her, and calling her a THOT, then I ask, what does that make you? (Pot meet kettle)

But, I can’t even blame the girlfriend for talking –ish and yacking it up with the mother because the mother engaged her. Why is your boyfriend’s mother engaging in these childish games and drama? She is a grown woman asking another woman why she doesn’t like you. Uhm, are you all in the sixth grade? The hell is going on! She should know better than to engage in this silly immature behavior. Yet, you’re talking about she has your back. Really? No, she has her son’s backs. Her interest is her children. You women are incidental casualties that are part of her game, and just like she told you that her son’s girlfriend won’t be around long, don’t think she hasn’t said the same thing about you!

So, girl, stop exerting your energy on this woman. If you keep focusing on her then how can you focus on your relationship? She is non-mf’ing factor. There is nothing she can say or do that should ever get you to the point that you want to lay hands on her. Let her talk. Again, who cares what she says or thinks or feels. It doesn’t affect your life or your relationship. Therefore, ignore her. Or better yet, have you ever heard of the adage, “Kill them with kindness.” Then, kill them softly. Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer. – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Deanloveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click  HERE!

Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
   

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