Dear Bossip: I'm Dating Someone Who Used To Sleep With My Twin

Dear Bossip,

I’m currently in a relationship with my middle school crush.

We have been intimately off and on for almost ten years, even prior to my last relationship with my ex. I never cheated on my ex with him, but somehow we always found our way to each other, like fate.

We have amazing chemistry and our communication is beyond awesome. We don’t keep anything from each other. Since we have known each other more than half our lives, we do know a lot people, including our old exes, dips, and other sex partners.

My problem comes in here. He had sex in the past with my twin sister. They have only been sex partners but never in a relationship. I don’t feel bad at all because me and him have always been so close, and whenever I asked him he was upfront. I couldn’t get mad because we all have a past. We had already been intimate prior to me knowing about him and my sister. So, it was really out of my control.

We love each other and we want to build a future together. We really don’t care about the past. But, some other people do. And, am I wrong for loving a man who had sex with my twin? Also, she and him haven’t seen or had sex with each other in nearly 5 years. She is with her kids’ father, but our mutual friends keep calling saying how she talks -ish about us. I personally think that I’m not wrong.  Sure it’s a little unorthodox, but I can’t help that I’m in love with him.  –Double Twin Trouble

Dear Ms. Double Twin Trouble,

It’s nasty. It’s trifling. It’s gross.

Chile, you folks living in these small towns, and everyone is dating and sleeping with one another is pathetic. I know you have to live in a small town because who in their right damn mind would lay down with the same man as their own twin sister? The hell!?!? Your twin sister had an intimate sexual relationship with someone, and now you’re dating this same man. The sad part is no one every holds the men in these situation accountable for their trifling whorish behavior.

A man can sleep with your sister, your momma, your auntie, and your grandmother, but you find him, and want to claim him as yours despite the fact he has ran through your entire family. And, the sad part is that you don’t feel bad because you that feel you and he are destined to be together, and it was fate that drove you and he to be together. You will fight your own family, ignore your friends advice, and parade this man around town as the love of your life because there is nothing like finally finding some d**k you can claim as your own.

I swear d**k clouds good your better judgment. And, no matter what no one says you are going to do what you want to do. You don’t care. You’re unbothered and feel that you’re in love. You feel you have the man of your dreams. Therefore, if the caliber of your man is to reach into the bottom of the barrel and scrap and scratch for a man, then I wish you the best. You deserve one another. You deserve exactly what you get from him, how he treats you, and the drama that will surround your life. You scrap the bottom of the barrel, then it lets me know how and what you think of yourself. You’re low brow. You’re desperate, and you yourself belong at the bottom with him.

Fate and love does find people, but do you honestly believe that fate and love will come in the form of someone who slept with your own family member? She is not some chick from your middle school, and she is not some random girl you know in passing. She is your own twin sister who had an intimate relationship with this man. Yes, they may have not seen one another in five years, and haven’t been intimate with one another, but you don’t know all the details, emotions, and feelings that were part of that relationship. Sure, he may say it was just sex, but how does your sister really feel? It may not have been just sex for her. She may have had real feelings for him, and that is why she is probably talking –ish about you.

Why didn’t you go to your sister and talk with her about this before you slept with him? Why didn’t you put things on hold between you and he once you learned he had slept with your sister? Why not put things into perspective and really think this through before moving forward and saying “F” what anyone thinks or what this may do to my sister, I’m doing me? Are you that selfish and needy for some d**k? Are you that trifling that you will let a man come between you and your sister? She’s your sister, your family, your blood, and you’re willing to choose him over her? Well, do you and don’t write me again once you learn that he’s sleeping with another woman, other women and friends come forward that they are sleeping with him, and they are pregnant. Don’t write me telling me that you miss your sister, your friendship with her, and you want your sister back. Don’t write me telling me that your family abandoned you and you want everyone to get along. Grow up, stop living in this middle school crush, and be a woman and think like a woman. – Terrance Dean

Photo courtesy: Shutterstock

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean:  loveandrelationships@bossip.com  Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter:  @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE!

Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!