10 Big, Swole, Gizzard-Fed Actors Who Could Play Skrong-Backed Hammer-Slanger John Henry

ABC/Rick Rowe

Best Picks To Play John Henry (That Aren’t The Rock)

In today’s Oh HELL NAWL news, Netflix announced that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson would star in “John Henry and the Statesman” (and also produce alongside Jumanji director Jake Kasdan) in a genuinely befuddling development that sent Black Twitter into a TIZZY.

Now, to be fair, The Rock has the ideal build and charisma for the role but just doesn’t give us John Henry who was a big, brolic, Blackity Black slab of suspender-wearing, hammer-slangin, ashy-knuckled man’s man whose legend lived on for generations. So yes, his casting is a big deal that inspired us to pick our very own actors to play the beloved folk hero.

Xavier Collin/IPA/Splash News

Hit the flip for some Twitter chitter-chatter over The Rock’s casting and OUR choices to play skrong-backed hammer-slanger John Henry.

https://twitter.com/ThatsSoAshtynn/status/1049780450368077826

Now, for our picks of actors/ex-ballers PERFECT to play John Henry…

ABC/Rick Rowe

Winston Duke

Perfect height. Perfect build. Perfect voice. Imagine him giving a speech in front of the townsfolk about watching the white man’s steam locomotives from the mountains. He’s literally the perfect person to play John Henry.

Xavier Collin/IPA/Splash News

Terry Crews

He’s a big, swole, ham hock of a man with proven acting chops and infectious charisma perfect for John Henry.

Alessandra Benedetti/Corbi/Getty Images)

Michael Jai White

Between his booming voice, hulking build and larger-than-life appeal (See: Black Dynamite), he would make a very entertaining John Henry.

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Chadwick Boseman

He’s played legendary Black icons Jackie Robinson, James Brown, Thurgood Marshall, Di Bleck Pentha and would KILL IT as Black folklore legend John Henry (despite his lack of height and swoleness)

Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

Shannon Sharpe

He probably didn’t cross your mind as a potentially great John Henry but he embodies everything that is John Henry: A giant tree trunk of a man who eats grits with a mixing spoon from a large pot before slangin’ that hammer on them train tracks up yonder.

Some Random Big, Swole, Thick-Necked Que

Just throwing this out there. John Henry would’ve DEFINITELY been a Que.

Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images

Mike Colter

He’s currently saving Harlem (and telling wayward youth to pull their pants up) as the bulletproof Luke Cage and miiiiight be a lil too corny to nail John Henry but his stature is ideal for the role.

Prince Williams/Getty Images

Nate Parker

We know he’s “canceled” and short-ish but you could argue that his look and perspective are perfect for John Henry.

Allen Berezovsky/Getty Images)

Rampage Jackson

He was enjoyable as Mr. T in the unappreciated “A-Team” movie and would bring the necessary toughness and grit to the role.

Phillip Faraone/Getty Images for American Express)

Shaquille O’Neal

We only put Shaq on this list to remind you that his name was JOHN HENRY in “Steel” that seemed loosely (and terribly) based on the classic folk tale

https://twitter.com/TheRock/status/1049783776094670848

Meh.