Laura Govan Says Speaking Candidly About Being Sexually Abused Was Important Because It Can Help Others
“Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition” this season has been INTENSE — particularly for Laura Govan, who brought her parents to camp to deal with some really deep seeded issues that she felt had been swept under the rug since childhood. We spoke with the reality star and mom of four about her journey on the show. Check out our EXCLUSIVE interview below.
BOSSIP: What was your “Marriage Boot Camp” experience like?
All the time spent was absolutely phenomenal, I could hang out with my parents even if I don’t like the muf***as all day — they’re cool as hell people, but when we’re dealing with the issues, there’s some sh*t that I want to fix and I knew that I had to be attentive, I had to be open, I had to be honest, I had to be willing, I had to come in with the intention, and I humbled myself %1000, because most of the time I’m good at yelling, I’m just ready to go, whatever it is I’m ready, but with my parents I took another approach and it was moreso of ‘No, although I could hang out with you…’ there’s always sh*t swept under the rug that people can always overlook or feel like, you know you can be in the same room with someone and not like them, but I happen to really like and love my parents so I wanted to make it work where there’s no hidden agendas, nothing swept under the rug and we just gonna go all out, and we gonna fix this sh*t, whatever our problems are we gonna fix them.
BOSSIP: Was it difficult opening up about your abuse, that subject can be very touchy and some people would have a hard time taking such a private issue public.
I don’t feel like it’s intimate or private. I feel that it happens to a lot of people and it needs to be talked about more because those things are very affective upon people’s lives in the future, however I just think that, I hate when it’s like, ‘oh it was so important…’ NO. This sh*t could really help people being honest about what’s going on in their lives and how do we fix this. How do we get you to acknowledge, I’m talking to my Dad, in the whole thing, ‘I don’t understand how you don’t even acknowledge it, you’re kind of sweeping it under the rug, that’s not what we’re going do do here. I need you to HEAR me. I want you to listen to me. I need you to HEAR me, then I need you to REGISTER, then I need you to DIGEST, then I need you to DEAL with.’ And those were the issues that I wanted to address because my father was not doing none of those things for me. So it was more of a one on one where I was like, ‘Nah I’m coming for you because I need these things out of you.’
I don’t feel like ‘Oh, it’s so tough.’ Nah. That ain’t tough for me. This sh*t happens every second, every minute, every day. NO. I want to help somebody and have people acknowledge and understand and speak out. I know people that today are like, ‘I never told my mom that her brother slept with me.’ I’m like ‘What the f**k? And you were seven?!’ You need to be able to speak out. So I don’t look at those things like, ‘That’s so touchy.’ NO. I want to help people who feel defeated and can’t let this sh*t out.
Watch an exclusive clip from Friday night’s upcoming episode of “Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition”.
“Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition” airs Fridays at 10/9c on WeTV
BOSSIP: You have a lot of siblings, did they have feedback for you about the show?
I got feedback from all of my family. I have nine brothers and sisters. They’re very important to me, however I did not give a sh*t what nobody thought. Their opinions did not matter to me. I was here to fix me and my parents relationship and nobody was standing in the way of that.
BOSSIP: Has the show given you any tools that you’ve been able to take home and use as a parent, with your kids?
I already have things implemented that I do on my own. I have a Master’s in sports psychology so I’m already the therapist. I was a basketball coach for years, even to this day. But I coach my kids like a basketball team so they’re very aware of the fu**ery in this world. I’m very attentive to their needs and open and honest with how I am in life. Like, I tell my kids, ‘you don’t let nobody touch your cooter. You don’t let nobody touch your dinger. It’s your mama or your doctor and your doctor only if I say so.’ Not even grandparents. We don’t do uncles and aunties. There’s no touching here. These are conversations that I have with my 8 year old, my 9 year old, my twelve year old, and my thirteen year old. I’m very open and honest about a bunch of stuff. You know it starts with you’re touching stuff and then it feels good and then your finger goes somewhere and it takes off, at the end of the day that’s not what we’re doing because those things have consequences. So I’m super honest. We talk about stealing. I mean we go in. And they look at me like, ‘are these normal conversations’? I’m like they’re normal conversations in my household.
BOSSIP: What was the hardest part for you?
The hardest part for me was being vulnerable with myself because I’m always so tough. I’m like, ‘NO! I’m gonna get you before you get me.’ I played basketball on every level. I always had to one up somebody, or go harder. I always had to perform more and give more in every aspect, because I was too light in dark places and too dark in light places. I struggled. I grew up in an all white neighborhood and I wasn’t white enough, and then I went to an all black school and I wasn’t black enough. So I just didn’t fit NOWHERE. So I had to humble myself. I had to realize that it’s not about being tough, there is no battle to win. I need to overcome some things that I’m hurting from personally. So I had to let my guard down, and with that came hurt and that sh*t HURT. So when I was talking to my father. To date I cannot talk to my father without crying because I’m so sensitive with my dad and I love my dad very very much. He is my hero and I didn’t understand why I hated my hero. So when I got to the root of it and I understand it hurt more that I wasted so much time in not getting to know who my hero really was.
BOSSIP: How did you get along with your castmates?
I think in the beginning, because of how me and my parents talk to each other — my dad will call me a mother fu**er in a minute and we’ll laugh, like ‘Motherfu**er you a liar,’ and my mother will say things in Spanish and we’ll talk. However, people look at that like, ‘Oh my God, do you hear the way they talk to each other?’ That’s how it was in the beginning. Like, ‘Why do they talk to each other like that?’ It’s all in fun. But if I’m arguing with my family and you jump in, then we’re all as a family going to get in your a** because one, you got into our family business and two you don’t talk to me or him like that in the first place. So people start picking up, ‘oh sh*t, they’re a family who really has each other’s back. They’re a family who has a great fu**ing great time.’ I feel like at the end everyone felt that we were the best family and that we were the most fun to hang out with, and they wanted to be around us. I loved the crew. I loved everybody. It was a really dope experience.
BOSSIP: What’s next for you?
I just wrote a book called “Don’t Get Mad, Get Sexy,” I’m an owner of a new team it’s a mixed gender basketball team, that’s for Chicago, it’s called the Chicago Vikings. Our first debut is in Washington DC on November 15. Master P is the owner of the league and we have a great CEO. It’s a really great outlet for me because I love baskeball. I’m starting back on my shop line, it’s called Shop In Real Life. Everything right now is just God’s time. It took some time but with the peace that I have right now, it’s good. I’m starting a podcast with my dad.
Props to Laura for being so open with us! We agree that she’s absolutely right that people need to be speaking openly and honestly about sex abuse.
“Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition” airs Fridays at 10/9c on WeTV — will you be watching?