As previously reported Tamar was a guest on Taraji’s Facebook Live show Peace of Mind with Taraji about mental health and she was triggered by the demands of reality TV and she ultimately thought she’d be doing her son Logan a favor by ending her life.
Tamar has since thanked “her sister” Taraji and Taraji’s cohost Tracie Jade for allowing her to be open about the dark moment when she was found unconscious in a hotel room. Tamar thanked the ladies for allowing her to “feel” on the show and for praying for her.
“Dear Taraji, Thank you. Thank you for not only having me on your show but creating a safe place to tell parts of my story so others can see the signs that I didn’t see. I was so jacked up back then, that I had no idea that It was ok to feel.
You have to feel So you can heal. Many may see this interview and think “here comes Tamar again”. But, that’s not what you saw. You said, “I can’t wait to see her so I can hug her.” You and Traci prayed for me. And cared for me and most of all SAW me. You knew that I was going through a tough time this summer. I was so broken I didn’t know what area to fix first,” Tamar began.
“You started this show and foundation because you know many like me was embarrassed, ashamed, and lost And had nowhere to turn… I’m so proud to be apart of such a powerful conversation that you have started. THIS show isn’t about being entertained. It’s about being informed. Thank you for the opportunity to keep me under construction and while others watch, may they go and get the help they need to feel and be healed and be seen like me. Thank you for this #peaceofmind I love you, my sister.”
During Tamar’s episode, she broke down the experiences that lead to her “losing control of her life” and noted that she first “fell into a fog” after being fired from “The Real.” (3:39)
Tracie: “If you could put a timestamp on when you think you felt like you were losing control of your life, when would you say was the moment?”
Tamar: “The first time I knew that things wasn’t normal, was when everything went down with The Real. I was in my bedroom; it was completely dark.”
Taraji: “Did you feel like you were in a fog?”
Tamar: “Oh yeah…you don’t shower, you don’t eat, you don’t know what day of the week it is or the time…”
Taraji: “And you don’t care…”
Tamar: “You don’t care. I was able to hide it enough, to pull myself … barely…out of it, and then I go back to the same toxic lifestyle, without dealing with everything that happened to me prior and that is continually happening to me, right? From day-to-day I was just barely sliding by y’know? I just felt choked, because it was no escape, I just didn’t see another way out… I wanted to die, everything was going wrong.”
Taraji: “Just give us a list.”
Tamar: “Oh Linda [laughs] girl, oh I had no relationship with my family, I was estranged from my sisters, including my mother, and I worked with my family – we had no healing time. My relationship with my fiancé at the time was out of control, I saw no signs of nothing, y’know. The relationship with my child was surface, meaning like, yeah I check-in, but I wasn’t really checkin’ in. Y’know I would make him some food but I didn’t know if he liked it, you know what I mean, and with myself, I gained 50 pounds, so I didn’t even recognize myself anymore, that should have been such a huge sign to me, that something is WRONG, that things are not going well at all.”
There’s also a moment where Taraji shocked Tamar by saying she sees herself in Tamar. (7:55)
Taraji: “I’m going to walk away feeling so much better about myself because I see so much of myself in you.”
Tamar: “You do?! But you seem like you have it all together.”
Taraji: “Isn’t that how it always looks? You too! We learnin’ as we go. There’s no rule guide. There is no book that says, ‘This is how you live a perfect life.’ My therapist set me free when she said… ‘The perfect lie is perfection.’”
Watch Tamar on Peace of Mind with Taraji below.
Peace of Mind with Taraji episodes drop every Monday and Wednesday at 9amPT/12pmET. Episodes can be found on facebook.com/Watch and Taraji P. Henson’s Facebook page: facebook.com/tarajiphenson.