The mother of former Miss USA Cheslie Kryst, who died by suicide in earlier this year, is opening up about her daughter’s life before her tragic death.
April Simpkins chose Red Table Talk for her first sit-down interview, talking to Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, and Pinkett-Smith’s mother, Adrienne Banfield-Norris, about losing her daughter and the events leading up to it.
Throughout the episode, Simpkins talks about Kryst’s mental health and whether or not she saw any “preliminary signs” of suicidal thoughts. That’s when she revealed that her daughter had attempted suicide in the past, saying it helped them grow closer to one another.
“This was not her first suicide attempt,” April said. “She’d attempted suicide before, and it was after that first attempt that she and I grew very close, and I wanted her to feel comfortable calling me…And she began taking all the right steps. She began seeing a counselor. She was getting good sleep at night. She knew all the things to do.”
Even more heartbreaking, the mourning mother went on to reveal the last message she received from the beloved pageant queen prior to her death, apologizing for the hurt she knew her mother would feel upon reading it.
“The first thing she said is, ‘First, I’m sorry. By the time you get this, I won’t be alive anymore, and it makes me even more sad to write this because I know it will hurt you the most.’ I think, at that point, I near blacked out ’cause by the time I read the text, an hour had passed,” April revealed.
“Her message went on to say ‘I love you, Mom, and you are my best friend and the person I’ve lived for for years. I wish I could stay with you, but I cannot bear the crushing weight of persistent sadness, hopelessness, and loneliness any longer. I’ve never told you these feelings because I’ve never wanted you to worry and because I hoped they would eventually change, but I know they never will. They follow me through every accomplishment, success, family gathering, friendly dinner. I cry almost every day now like I’m in mourning.”
“I’ve wished for death for years, and I know you would want to know and want to help, but I haven’t wanted to share this weight with anyone,” the message continued. “Regardless of that, thank you sincerely for being there for me in some of my loneliest moments without me even telling you I needed you. You have kept me alive and ready to face another day because you answer every phone call, and you are there for me at the drop of a hat. You listen to me and care when I tell you what goes on in my life, and you’ve always made me feel like you love me. I love you more than any person I’ve ever known. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’ve done everything right. I no longer feel like I have any purpose in life. I don’t know if I ever really did.’”
To hear more from April about the unimaginable day she lost her daughter, watch the new episode of Red Table Talk, now streaming on Facebook Watch.