The model took to Instagram on Friday, August 12 to open up about the loss of her five-month-old baby, who died following his battle with cancer in December 2021.
“My body feels it. I’ve been on the verge of tears the last few days,” Alyssa wrote with a photo of Zen wrapped in a blanket. “Trying to keep a forward momentum. I miss my boy.”
She continued, revealing how she first learned of Zen’s fatal condition: “I can’t believe it’s been a year since what I thought would be a quick doctor visit turned into a 5 day hospital stay. We showed up at 9 and by 11:30 Zen was having brain surgery at 8 weeks old.”
Just three months later, Zen tragically passed away.
Two months ago, in June, Alyssa had similar emotions to share on what would have been Zen’s birthday.
“Happy heavenly birthday Zen,” she wrote at the time. “At the root of all the emotions I have today there is insurmountable love. I always try my best to remain positive but right now I can’t help but cry out ‘it’s not suppose to be like this.'”
Nick first let the world know Zen had passed away during the December 7 episode of The Nick Cannon Show, shedding tears as he revealed that he was able to be with his son on his final day. He also got a tattoo in tribute of Zen just four days after he died.
Around that time, Alyssa took to her Instagram to post a tribute to her late son, writing, “You kept me going. We were a team, both determined to see it through. It feels unbearable running without you now. It has been an honor and privilege being your mommy…I will love you for eternity.”