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Happy Birthday to DeWayne Michael Carter, Jr., aka Lil Wayne, who turns 28-years-old today in Rikers Island.

If he had his freedom, Weezy opening up his presents would probably look something like this, but since it’s likely Rikers won’t yield him much more than commissary candy and cigarettes, we assembled all of his “greatest loves” together in celebration of the big day.

Check them out below.

Bling

As you can see, Weezy’s Jail ID shows even his teeth have been stripped of the shiny stuff. For a guy who invented the term “BlingBling” that just ain’t right.

Now that’s more like it. When Wayne is released in two months, we’re sure he’ll have all these and more.

Young Money

While he’s been locked up, Young Money representers — Mack Maine, Drake, Nicki Minaj, Shanell, Lil Twist, Gudda Gudda and the rest of the crew have been holding it down for President Carter.

But wouldn’t it be nice if we could reunite Weezy F. Baby with his musical family on his special day?

Tattoos

The one of Weezy’s many loves that he may actually find access to! Spending a birthday in jail is a definite milestone, but is it worthy of a tattoo? Wayne is covered literally head to toe in tats, so one way he could celebrate the day would be to get inked.

Sports

Whether he’s dropping Vince Lombardi, Tim Tebow, Mike Vick and Lane Kiffin’s names in his lyrics or as a guest on ESPN, it’s no secret that Lil Wayne knows and loves his sports. Hopefully Riker’s showed Weezy some love and let him in on some Sunday and Monday night football action.

Love

Wayne’s not exactly what you’d call an emo rapper, but if you ever checked out his Tweets, he seemed to have a love jones for love. Based on the number of female prison guards who’ve been disciplined for giving him favorable treatment in lockup, we wouldn’t be surprised if there’s still plenty of that around for him behind bars.

Music

Like Tupac did when he was alive, before going into the pen Lil Wayne damn near lived in his favorite recording studios. While he notoriously gave up writing down his rhymes years ago, manager Cortez Bryant says he’s putting pen to paper again and will have plenty of material to lay down after his release.

Family

From his beloved Mama Cita, to his firstborn Reginae and her three close in age baby brothers, and their mothers, Lil Wayne’s love for his family is no secret. We’re pretty sure the women, who tolerate each other for the sake of their kids and the love for Weezy, are planning a special ‘Big Love’ style celebration for when he gets free.

Baby Williams

The love shared by this pair is no secret! Lil Wayne’s notorious father figure Brian “Baby” Williams has helped him fulfill his dreams and has never been shy about showering him with lavish gifts. He may be spending his birthday in jail, but we’re pretty sure Birdman will be pulling out all the stops as soon as Weezy gets free.