Lets just face: Most men rank looks high on their list of priorities. We’ve all seen it, a nice guy with a not-so-sweet Mrs who has a flawless face, beautiful body or even better, the ever-so-deadly combination of both. If that tail’s right, he’s there all night. Ms. Thing doesn’t have to cook, clean or even be able/willing to teach the kids how to read. She’s his arm piece. She makes him feel like he has what he deserves in life: a woman with bankable looks. Everywhere they walk he’s the envy of most men in the room — or at least that’s what he thinks. Most important, to him the possible sacrifices of a clean house, home cooked meals and educated kids are worth it. He won.
Now that formula works for men, but when we flip the script women want something a bit different. They yearn for security. After 25, most ladies crave sheets with higher thread counts, are only willing to relocate for a major lifestyle upgrade and don’t want to swipe a card as part of their post work transportation ritual. In sum, if you want to date them you have to pay to play. Some people will call them gold diggers, but really they’re savvy survivors.
Reality television has given us an opportunity to get a real look inside the lives of women married to ballers. Is their life so bad? There are two types of paid men: the corny guy who comes up or the cocky guy who earns his keep. Don’t sleep on the quiet dude who hustles. He may not be the most slim or handsome guy, but he’s about his paper. One look at Tamar Braxton-Herbert’s life tells the tale. On a recent episode of Braxton Family Values the wannabe diva goes in on her sisters for having husbands who lack integrity and sizable bank accounts. Who cares if her hubby’s a big dude? His wallet’s even bigger. The bratty Braxton explains to her siblings that her choice of mate gave her one thing they lack in their finer hubbies: security.
On the other end of the spectrum we have Jennifer Williams of Basketball Wives fame. Though her marriage to former NBA player was short-lived, they had a long relationship. One look at Eric provides the whole story: She obviously didn’t marry this man for his looks. After hearing two seasons of JW’s whining over Eric’s infidelity we know that he didn’t just start cheating when they got married either — he’s always been poking around. It’s obvious that Jen married for love… and security. While many women sat around and judging the former Mrs. Williams, those same chicks are getting dogged out by Joe Blow down the street — and paying his bills. Or boning for dinners at the Cheesecake Factory. At least when he left she got a condo and car.
If we can accept men dating for looks then we have to embrace women who marry for security. In both cases, all the parties are doing is using what they got to get what they want. Sounds like a win/win.
