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Fellas, we’d like to offer you some advice so you don’t end up with a lump of coal at the end of the day.

Here are some Christmas gifts to definitely avoid unless you’re trying to end up single on December 26th. When your lady gives you the goods on Christmas night, you’ll thank us.

Vacuum Cleaner – You do NOT want to get her anything like a vacuum cleaner or duster or anything. She may kill you. Nothing is more pathetic than “hey, here’s something to get you to do more chores”.

Gym Membership – Bad. Move. “So what, you think I’m fat?!” This is going to hurt.

Weight Loss Plan – See: gym membership. Not gonna work.

Cooking Stuff – Pots and pans. Spices. Meats. These are all bad ideas. Just stay away from the grocery store the whole month of December.

Stripper Pole – Save this for an anniversary or when she asks you “what are you into” or something. Not for Christmas.

Cash – Nothing is as heartless as a bag of cash. That’s just lame and thoughtless. Pull it together.

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Nothing – Pretty self-explanatory. BUY HER SOMETHING!

Personal Hygiene Supplies – The worst way to explain your lady’s hygienics is to bring it up during Christmas. Especially in front of her family!

Weave – Actually, if your girl actually enjoys the weave, then you probably have a hood rat. Use it as a test to see what kind of woman you have.


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