9 Artists Who Need To Retire

Artists Who Need To Have A Seat

Every recording artist has their moment before the cheers turn into boos and flashing lights fade to black. With fame, wealth and Twitter stans, comes a countdown to irrelevancy these once beloved artists continue to ignore.

And with that said, let’s take a look at artists who refuse to sit down…

Alicia Keys – She’s squawked in the key of ‘No’ for a decade and we allowed it to happen. All of us. But with her new album “Girl On Fire” projected to flop, there’s hope for a brighter future.

Bey Bey – She’s slowly becoming the old hoodrat in the club trying to prove she’s still got it. At this point, baby backpacks look better on her than bedazzled onesies.

Usher – His heart didn’t always pump glow stick fluid like it does today. It’s like “Confessions” never happened.

Ciara – She’s always been a poor, deaf, blind, crippled man’s Janet Jackson which somehow worked in 2004. Why she’s STILL doing the Matrix during performances, we’ll never know.

Christina Aguilera – Xtina gained every pound Jennifer Hudson lost and recently released an album (“Lotus”) no one dead or alive cared about. She may be the greatest waste of pure talent in music history.

LL Cool J – He’s more famous for impeccable lip moisture than Hip-Hop in 2012. His own premium flavored lip chap line makes more sense than another album. 

Ludacris – When he said “I fill her up…BALLOONS!” on “My Chick Bad,” it was clear he didn’t care about Hip-Hop anymore.

Keri Hilson – Vocally, she’s like cold McDonald’s fries and unsweetened iced tea mixed together in a blender. She’s R&B’s red-headed, freckled-faced step-child.