Most people won’t admit to liking R. Kelly in 2013 for obvious reasons but they still play his classics on the lowest of lows when no one’s around. Say what you want about the 8th grader-loving sicko (allegedly), he’s an R&B legend responsible for pure audio comedy. Whether it’s intentional or not, we’ll never know (or care).
Here are the ten most ridiculous R. Kelly jams. Take a look.
“Real Talk” –
The combination of Kellz being dead serious and the lyrics being completely ridiculous make this record hilarious. At some point, you expect him to burst into uncontrollable laughter but he never does.
“Thoia Thong” –
Neither Google nor God know what “Thoia Thong” means. In 2013, it’s one of R&B’s greatest unsolved mysteries.
“Feelin’ on yo Booty” –
Kellz went from “playas wanna play, ballers wanna ball, rollers wanna roll” to “put your arms around me, I’m feelin’ on your booty” to laughter while the record faded to black. He knew.
“You Remind Me of Something” –
“You remind me of something…I just don’t know what it is.” So, you chose to compare her to a jeep, Kellz?
You really have to be a stone-cold creep to whisper “let me stick my key in your ignition, baby” in a chick’s ear. And if you did, we doubt you’d ever see her nekkid.
“In the Kitchen” –
Kellz compared a woman to a jeep, offered to stick his key in her ignition and now wants to make love on the kitchen counter, by the butter rolls? Kellz gotta be the creepiest creep of all R&B creeps.
“Trapped in the Closet, Pt. 1/57” –
“He walks up to the CLOSET. He’s close up to the CLOSET. Now he’s at the CLOSET. Now he’s opening the CLOSET.” And Kellz was 100% serious about this.
“The Zoo” –
Now Kellz wants the woman to sound like zoo wildlife while he makes love to her in the kitchen before hiding in the closet from her husband. Pay homage.
“Girl, you make me wanna getchu pregnaaaaaant.” No one cuts to the chase better than Kellz.
“Heaven I Need A Hug” –
Kellz didn’t know any other word that rhymed with “hug” other than “thug,” which made this one of his silliest songs ever.