Rap beefs are the ultimate go-to gimmick used by desperate artists to generate buzz for upcoming projects. In most cases, they’re carefully-crafted publicity stunts force-fed to blogs in today’s Twitter beef-obsessed industry.
Here are the ten lamest Rap beefs ever. Take a look.
Drake vs. Chris Brown
Glittery knife fight from the Michael Jackson “Beat It” video in pointless “Rap beef” form.
JoJo Simmons vs. Juelz Santana
The most talentless Simmons dissed an irrelevant rapper famous for wearing bedazzled bandanas and somehow got caught up. We’re sure God hates JoJo.
Eminem vs. Mariah Carey
Em dreamed of drinking (and gargling) Mariah’s bath water with a silly straw for years before she married the luckiest cornball alive: Nick Cannon. Of course he snapped.
MC Hammer vs. Jay-Z
King Hammer dropped a Hovvie Hov diss track (“Run Better Run”) followed by a (hilarious) video where he chases Hov through a forest in slow motion before baptizing the “demonic” MC.
Hov’s response: “When he reads all of the nice things I said about [Hammer], he’s actually going to be embarrassed.”
J. Cole vs. Diggy Simmons
Imagine J. Cole and Diggy slap-boxing in the Chuck E. Cheese parking lot. That’s what this “beef” felt like.
Waffle-toned Drake vs. cream of wheat-colored Common
100% pure gourmet beef marinated in El DeBarge tears. Top 5 low point in light-skinned rapper history.
Lupe Fiasco vs. Chief Keef
Chicago’s filthiest Garbage Pail Kid threatens to slap everyone’s favorite smart-dumb rapper. Smart-dumb rapper responds with positivity. Filthy Garbage Pail Kid claims his Twitter was hacked. Pointless.
Nelly vs. KRS-One
Perfect example of why the ’ole dusty mandal with church socks-wearing MC never wins against the hot new Rap phenomenon.
Photo credit: Instagram
Lil Wayne vs. Pusha T
Weezy was so sizzurp-wasted that he forgot to actually DISS Pusha-T on his “Pusha-T diss track.” And then Pusha responded. At that point, no one cared.
Azealia Banks vs. Androgynou$ Rocky
No one really knows why Azealia is a “thing” (or how to spell her name) and A$AP dresses like Forever 21 mannequins. Nothing about this makes sense.