Dear Bossip: Before Marriage I Mentioned A Threesome, Now He Keeps Asking

Dear Bossip,

I meet my husband 5 years ago. We have been married 2 years.

In the beginning of our relationship, when I wasn’t all involved with him like now, I mentioned I would have a threesome. I was younger and wilder than now. I’m more mature and I will never have a threesome with my husband. I don’t want any part in it. I couldn’t even imagine another woman with my husband.

To make a long story short, he keeps bringing it up and he keeps asking me what has changed in a couple of years, and a lot has changed. I wish I had never brought this conversation up because now he blames me and is steady asking for it. What do I do? I feel responsible for his actions. Do I fulfill his wants or do I let him go because I am so done with him asking. – Regret The Offer

Dear Ms. Regret The Offer,

No!

Hell no!

Hell to the naw!

And, what part of the “N” and the “O” does he not comprehend!

How the hell is he throwing it up in your face and blaming you for something you said you’d do before you got married? He should have took advantage of the opportunity when you first offered and made mention of the threesome. He missed out. And, that ship has sailed. So, no! Do not give in, concede, or participate in something you have no desire in doing.

Do not allow him to put this on you, and make you out to be the bad guy who won’t do something you said waaaaaaay before you two got married. You have changed your mind, and you are entitled to change your mind. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. He is your husband, and you are his wife. This is an equal partnership and marriage, and it is about trust and respect of the other. If you’ve told him no and he keeps pressuring you, then, you tell him ONE LAST DAMN TIME – “I am not interested in doing a threesome. I will not participate in a threesome. And, as your wife, you have to respect me, my wishes, and my body. I have a right to change my mind, and because you are my husband and we are married, I respect our marriage, our vows, and the sanctity of marriage. And, with that I am done talking about it. Do not bring it up. Do not suggest it and do not mention it. I’m done with it. D-O-N-E! Done!”

He keeps asking you what has changed, and you state that a lot has changed. Especially in two years things have changed. You’re not the same woman you were after you got married, and you became serious with him. You don’t think the same way, nor would you do the sexual and tri-sexual things you did when you were younger with your husband. But, it’s sad because he still sees you as that same woman, and that is why he keeps asking you. He sees you as that woman who is the freak in the bed, and is willing to do anything to please her man. Sorry, but a lot has happened and transpired in two years, so he best get on board. So, you have to explain to him what has changed. You are a happily married woman to the one and only man she wants to share the rest of her life with. He is your husband, and you don’t want to share him with another woman. You are not interested in being with another woman, and you don’t want to bring anyone else into your bed, or bedroom. I hate the fact that you have to explain this to him and he doesn’t see or acknowledge what is plainly obvious. Why can’t he understand this, and why can’t he acknowledge your marriage and vows, and why can’t you alone be the only woman he wants and desires? You should ask him those questions.

Bringing someone else into your marriage, bed, and bedroom will do more damage than good. You never know or can anticipate what can happen when another person is sexually introduced into your relationship. That person brings another energy and dynamic and it can prove to be dangerous and fatal. So, please stick to your guns and do not change your mind, or concede to his wishes or desires.

Your husband should respect you as his wife, and your body. He should honor you and desire you, thus, the requests for a threesome should not even be up for discussion or a request. If he keeps pressuring you, and he doesn’t respect your wishes, then you should seek professional counseling, or speak with your pastor. There could be something else your husband is not revealing to you, and it may be something out of your realm of possibility to fix or work out. – Terrance Dean

Photo courtesy: Shuttershock

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