Exclusive: “Newlyweds: The First Year” Erica And Adonis Talk Trust
We caught up with Adonis and Erica Gladney of Bravo’s hit docu-drama “Newlyweds: The First Year” to find out how things have been going since the newlywed phase ended, what’s coming up for the couple, and find out how they bounced back after Adonis made THAT cheating confession:
Naturally, marrying one another days after a confession like that gave them a big hurdle to jump in their union. We caught up with Erica and Adonis to see how things are going a year and a half into their marriage. They both admit that, as with most couples, their first year of matrimony has been difficult, but they’re learning how to support each other day by day:
So first things first — how were you two able to get past the bombshell Adonis dropped days before the wedding?
Erica: I’m learning to trust him more and more. It’s difficult, but I’m learning to let things go and try to believe in him and try to trust him, because I’m just stressing myself and him out when I’m worried about things and paranoid about if he’s cheating on me more. I let it go now and just try to have faith in him.
What changed to get you to that point?
Erica: It’s more of me trying not to drive myself crazy anymore. Definitely during the first year and all during filming I was very paranoid. Every time he’d leave the house I was just like “Well, where are you going? What time will you be back?” I was calling him — I was sort of a little crazy. It was getting to both of us.
Adonis: On my end, it was more about reassuring her and keeping communication open, but still establishing boundaries with the calling every five minutes. We just had to reach a common ground of understanding and open communication to where she knew exactly what was going on with me, who would be where I was, that sort of thing.
At a certain point in our marriage counseling, we realized that we actually hadn’t done our vows correctly. We just told eachother what we loved about each other, but vows are actually supposed to be promises about what you will do with your mate in the future. So once we learned that, we did a re-vowing ceremony, and that helped build a bit more trust.
Adonis, you weren’t exactly raised to value committed romantic relationships and your father still seems to come around with a negative view on one-on-one marriage and encouraging you having multiple women as well. How have you been able to put Erica at ease more with that influence prevalent in your life?
Adonis: My dad is polyamorous, and he’s also a comedian so he likes joking a lot, so he is constantly making comments about other women and saying inappropriate stuff. Before, I did that too, so it didn’t help the situation. I told him several times to not do that and even had to stop talking to him for a while. Once we began speaking again and he came to dinner at our home, he was still doing it. I had to interject and I believe that also showed Erica how serious I am about having a more monogamous relationship and not having “a woman in each room,” as my dad would put it.
Being raised with your father’s views, what made you decided that you wanted to pursue a committed relationship and marry one woman?
Adonis: Once I met the right woman, it was an easy decision. Growing up, I never saw my Dad with just one woman. Even before he became truly polyamorous, he would just be with a woman and always have another on the side too. Now he’s just open with it rather than being deceitful. But you have to understand — I respect what my Dad is doing for him. He’s happy with what he’s doing, and the women are happy with what he’s doing. What I don’t like is him trying to force that lifestyle on ME. In my case, my one woman is enough. I don’t need multiple women. I’ve found the right one who I can build and grow with. I can do everything with her, and the sex is great too! I don’t need extra women anymore — I’ve had my fun.
Although [the fast lifestyle] seems exciting, it’s actually really lonely. You have so many women, you don’t have any woman. Right now, I have a real woman who has my back, who will stand up for me, and tell me if I’m doing something wrong, who actually wants to see me do well and see me grow. It’s not about the superficial stuff. And that’s hard to find — someone who wants to see you be the best you can be, and someone who you want to be the best man you can be for. I’ve never had that before.
So what else can we expect to see from you two in upcoming episodes?
Adonis: We actually start talking about adopting Erica’s nephew, because her sister has sickle cell and is having a difficult time. It’s hard, because this isn’t actually the time in life I was looking to have kids, but at the same time, it could happen at any moment given her sister’s condition. It’s a very serious decision to make, her nephew is already 8 and he’s had an entire life in a different home with his own mother, so that brings its own set of issues for him and for us.
Erica: It’s really difficult — they gave my sister two years to live, and it’s already been over a year and a half. So at any time, we may have to adopt him.
So after your first year of marriage, what advice do you think you can give to fresh newlyweds?
Erica: Just don’t give up. There’s going to be so many tough times and difficult situations, but it’s all about communication. You have to communicate and compromise, and keep trying to move forward.
Adonis: Well compromise is something different when you’re married vs. when you’re single. When you’re dating, it means both of you come together and discuss an outcome…but when you’re married, it means you just admit your wife is right so you can stop arguing (laughs).
But seriously…it’s a learning and growing process. If you’ve got the right one, you need to make it work — but don’t think it’s going to be easy.
Tune in to “Newlyweds: The First Year” tomorrow night (Wednesday) on Bravo at 10/9c to see how Erica and Adonis and the rest of the couples fare.