F**k Azealia Banks.
Who the hell is Azealia Banks you ask? Hmmm…how do I explain this? Azealia Banks is a *air quotes* rapper. She’s from New York. She’s loud. She’s wrong. She supports Donald Trump. She claims to be educated, but no one who has ever read her Twitter timeline would EVER be able to tell. But more than anything else, she’s a b!tç#.
When I say Azealia Banks is a b!t¢#, I don’t mean that in the controller-of-my-destiny Nicki Minaj “I’m a boss azz b!t¢#” way. I don’t mean it in the uber confident Joseline Hernandez “Baddest puta” way. Nor do I mean it in the charming Top 40 radio Meredith Brooks type of way (if you’re a millennial… look it up). I mean Azealia Banks is a b!t¢# in the most vile and derogatory way. The type of b!t¢# whose fan base consists largely of gay people but freely spews the word “f****t” at the first sign of offense. The type of b!t¢# who tells a successful 14-year-old actress that she will grow up to be nothing but a thot who has been pimped by her mother. THAT type of b!t¢#.
We’ve endured a LOT of Azealia Banks unique brand of bulls#!t over the years. Her list of enemies reads like a list of artists most rappers would give the hand with which they hold the mic to collaborate with. This heffa has beefed with Beyoncé, Wale, Erykah Badu, Iggy Azalea, K. Michelle, Pharrell, Lupe Fiasco, Kendrick Lamar, T.I., ASAP Rocky, Rita Ora, Nicki Minaj and SO many more.
While most of these folks can defend themselves or ignore her completely, Banks’ latest attack against Skai Jackson is a new low, even for her. Over the past year or so we’ve been celebrating #BlackGirlMagic, but I can’t say that I see even the smallest sprinkle of pixie dust anywhere in the vicinity of Azealia Banks. I just see regular dust. The kind of dust that makes a home on inanimate objects that haven’t been moved, been cared for, or used in quite some time. The type of dust that makes your grandma keep that plastic over her furniture. Nahimtalmbout?
I think I speak for the masses when I say we’ve had enough of this dusty troll. We’ve had enough of her bashing black men while she simultaneously slurps up white penises. We’ve had enough of her bigotry. We’ve had enough of her fake azz intelligence. We never asked for her in the first place and desperately wish we could give her back.
I normally wouldn’t wish physical harm on people, but if Azealia Banks were to break both her hands and couldn’t tweet anymore, I’d crack a Christmas morning smile and pop a bottle of Ace of Spades.
I have no doubt that Azealia Banks will continue to put out music that no one will hear, engage in 140-character combat, and generally be the insufferable b!t¢# that we all know her to be. Hell, she might even pop up in my Twitter mentions for writing this, I don’t care. And while I must admit that she’s often really good for clicks because most of you hate her as much I do. I’d happily forfeit the page views if it meant that she would just go away. Forever.