The CSI: Black Twitter Investigation Into Bey's Bald-Headed Bitestress Sparked Hilarious Chaos

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#WhoBitBeyonce I want a name by noon Pacific time. pic.twitter.com/bm3C8P10fX

— Genoa Chanel (@genoachanel) March 26, 2018

Queen Bey’s Face Bitestress Is Shattering The Internet

Yeeea, the world is probably ending soon BUT at least we have lovable blabber mouth Tiffany Haddish to dish on deliciously messy Hollyweird shenanigans that now include a too-crazy-to-be-true tale of a druggy A-list actress biting Queen Bey in the face (and somehow not dying) at an exclusive party last year.

Oh yes, this really happened in real life (like, forreal forreal) and has the CSI: Black Twitter Unit (and everyone else) embroiled in the messiest non-Stormy Daniels investigation of 2018.

IF YOU HAVE A NAME AND YOU AREN’T SPILLING YOU ARE HARBORING A FUGITIVE! #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/j2nt01a0sH

— First Lady of Music 🐝 (@FBEYI4) March 26, 2018

Peep the hilarious Twitter chaos over #WhoBitBeyonce on the flip.

What I've gathered from #whobitbeyonce…
-this person spends constant time with Beyoncé's clique since "she not like that all the time"
-she was close enough to Beyoncé to not get kicked out
-she was someone Tiffany thought she could take on
-she is someone unexpected to do this

— Mone' Lisa (@bluexradiance) March 26, 2018

#WhoBitBeyonce I want a name by noon Pacific time. pic.twitter.com/bm3C8P10fX

— Genoa Chanel (@genoachanel) March 26, 2018

I'm just gonna leave this here#WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/bUCAuvzhAk

— Maytte Kiliaha 🇲🇽 (@Maytte_Horan) March 27, 2018

IF YOU HAVE A NAME AND YOU AREN’T SPILLING YOU ARE HARBORING A FUGITIVE! #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/j2nt01a0sH

— First Lady of Music 🐝 (@FBEYI4) March 26, 2018

All the actresses that attended that party looking at the #WhoBitBeyonce like pic.twitter.com/0xmHR4BXk5

— Destiny Jasmine’✨ (@Adore_dess) March 26, 2018

Lena Dunham tweeted this 12 hours ago….before the the story was even released 🧐 #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/mEzJFArC9R

— Jay (@LipsTaco) March 26, 2018

Continue Slideshow

Me questioning all the actresses I think bit beyonce #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/pviv7iQYuE

— Tiffany (@TheChicTiff) March 26, 2018

#WhoBitBeyonce Ya moms a hoe! pic.twitter.com/uVDENAbOP3

— Put that on Karlous (@KarlousM) March 26, 2018

This is not a case for the police. #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/t5COPMWhWh

— saaaaïd (@Saidamar) March 26, 2018

Somebody bi.. #WhoBitBeyonce?! pic.twitter.com/Hpfw5HXi0p

— Sunshine Symi (@jawanmp3) March 26, 2018

People think they are going to find out #WhoBitBeyonce when they still don’t know who Becky with the good hair is. pic.twitter.com/0TWnR9ABA3

— Danielle (@__danijackson) March 26, 2018

My money is on Lena Dunham or J. Law 🤷🏾‍♀️#WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/QaFiAjxgSc

— Clarkisha Kent: Slayer of Colonizers (@IWriteAllDay_) March 26, 2018

#WhoBitBeyonce?

Abbey Lee Miller. pic.twitter.com/usKquYV6PP

— Afro-LightskinO. (@itsKARY_) March 26, 2018

Imagine being at an after party, one bitch touching ya man, another bitch bit you and some upstart comedian is leaking all the details. #WhoBitBeyonce

— Postgrad Depression Type Beat (@AliefofFaith) March 26, 2018

Most definitely not Sanaa 🤣🤣🤣😂😂 #WhoBitBeyonce

— T'Questlove (@questlove) March 26, 2018

#WhoBitBeyonce so we’re gonna play detective until we figure out who did it pic.twitter.com/VbXD8l7myN

— Best of the Gays 👑 (@slayEM_charlie) March 26, 2018

Everyone on twitter rn #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/OdhB45PDpe

— black madonna Ⓥ (@salmahashi) March 26, 2018

the beyhive after finding out #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/i7CuGumhKi

— emily🍸 (@holybeystan) March 26, 2018

Dear Special Counsel Mueller,

I know you’re busy trying to safeguard Democracy. And you’ve been doing a really great job. But, if you have time, we’d love your talents to be focused on #WhoBitBeyonce.

We need to know.

Sincerely,

America

— Jeremy D. Thompson (@Reelpolitik) March 26, 2018

Feature images: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images/Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for NARAS

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