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Donald Trump: (Photo by Michael Brochstein/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)  Stormy Daniels: (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)

Image via Michael Brochstein/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images/Steve Granitz/WireImage

Donald Trump Prematurely Orgasms Says Stormy Daniels

Anyone who ever described Donald Trump as “slow” will have to chow down on a slice of humble pie today. Stormy Daniels tell it, Donnie is the fastest gun in the west wing.

The President’s former porn star mistress told VOGUE that the Trump’s tiny little tower tends to take cover after only a short time in combat…

It is just after 10:00 a.m. on a Tuesday, still early morning in the world of adult-film stars and their entourages. Daniels is barefoot, in black skinny jeans with silver zippers at the ankles and a purple V-neck T-shirt. With no makeup Daniels, 39, looks much younger than when she appeared on 60 Minutes last March and told 22 million viewers about her dalliance with Trump, about the hush money and the threat to her daughter and the nondisclosure agreement that she says Cohen forced her to sign weeks before the 2016 presidential election. In person, she is nothing like that stoic, on-message woman. She is blunt, foulmouthed, funny. I ask her for more details on her alleged 2006 affair with Trump. “How many details can you really give about two minutes?” she says. Two minutes? I ask. “Maybe. I’m being generous.”

At this point you may be picturing Donald Trump’s flaccid peen pathetically shriveling back into his unshaven nether regions and if you weren’t then you are now. You’re welcome.

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