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Wait, what??

IAAF World Athletics Championships 2017 - Day 7

Source: Stephen McCarthy / Getty

We’ve heard a lot of athletes offer a lot of bulls**t excuses after they’re caught breaking rules or violating fair play expectations but this one is particularly embarrassing. According to a CNN report, Olympic runner Shelby Houlihan has been banned from her sport for 4 whole a** years after she tested positive for an anabolic steroid. The Athletics Integrity Unit (AIU) contacted Houlihan to let her know that there was nandrolone in her system. Let her tell it via a LONG-a** Instagram post, she ate a pork burrito that resulted in a false positive.

On January 14th, 2021, I received an email from the Athletics Integrity Unit (AIU), informing me a drug testing sample that I provided on December 15th, 2020 has returned as an Adverse Analytical Finding for an anabolic steroid called Nandrolone and that I am therefore subject to an immediate Provisional Suspension. When I got that email, I had to read it over about ten times and google what it was that I had just tested positive for. I had never even heard of nandrolone.

I have since learned that it has long been understood by WADA (World Anti-Doping Agency) that eating pork can lead to a false positive for nandrolone since certain types of pigs produce it naturally in high amounts. Pig organ meat (offal) has the highest levels of nandrolone.

Nandrolone is essentially a testosterone replacement that is said to increase nitrogen retention and fat-free muscle mass. No idea what that is supposed to do but apparently it’s severely frowned upon.

She sounds heartbroken but our cynicism just won’t let us believe her 100%. She might be telling God’s honest truth but athletes who have wanted something since they were 5-years-old might do anything to manifest their moment.

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