Misster Ray "Mess With A Message"

Misster Ray wants you to know that he’s not messy despite what you may have seen throughout his over-a-decade-long reality career.

Source: Frazer Harrison / Getty

Viewers first met Ray in n 2006 as the first openly gay cast member on BET’sCollege Hill: Virginia State University. After that, he moved on to “Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood” where viewers saw him clash with certain castmates but also provide comical commentary.

These days he’s continuing to do so, but in the form of a book; “Mess With A Message” where he’s not only commentating but providing a raw and unfiltered look at his life.

Below Misster Ray tells BOSSIP about his memoir that includes pinnacle highs and honest lows.

What inspired you to write your book?

During the pandemic, no one was doing anything and I relocated to Atlanta temporarily to essentially heal the hole in my soul having just come out of a dark depression due to my hair loss from alopecia, a failed relationship, and a much-needed family intervention due to heavy drug use. I was at rock bottom and finally decided to deal with everything in my life that I could reasonably accept and heal from.

Was there anything in your book you were hesitant to share?

Yes, I shared that at a young age I was repeatedly molested for several years by my babysitter’s son, who was much older than I was. I was hesitant to share this in the book because it essentially was the reason my mother lost custody of me and I went to live with my father and stepmother. I lived with the guilt of “telling” for years because of the ripple effect it had.

In your opinion, what do you think readers will find most juicy in “Mess With A Message”?

The majority of my readers have been following my career since “College Hill”, so they’ll find most juicy back stories and off-camera moments like my run-in with Mike Tyson at the BET Awards afterparty to my company Social Status PR planning Lisa Raye’s 50th birthday party literally in two days in LA after my dramatic “Love & Hip Hop” reunion brawl in New York City that made TMZ headlines.

In your opinion, what do you think readers will be most inspired by in “Mess with A Message”?

I believe that readers will see that my 15 minutes started 15 years ago. I’ve been on camera as talent, behind the camera working with production and in the office working at the network. I’ve put in the work to be where I am today and I’m ready for what’s to come in the future.

In this book are you recounting all of your reality TV days dating back to “College Hill”?

I reflect back on some memorable moments that shaped me today like coming out on BET and becoming their first-ever gay talent. I was 20-years-old on national television representing a community at the time that I wasn’t familiar with nor had I ever even been to gay club yet.


As someone who worked and thrived in the reality TV space, how have you seen it change? What’s the biggest thing you learned?

“College Hill “is America’s first-ever black reality series and for that association, I will forever be grateful to be a part of BET’s history. Going into “Love & Hip Hop”, things have changed but for me as a veteran, for the better in terms of contracts, network opportunities, and social media. The only social media we had when I started [on reality TV] was MySpace, which meant we had to actually interact with our audience and engage them Vs. now you can just post with no thought or effort.

What do you hope people learn about you from your book?

That I’m not messy. Yes, I’m a mess, meaning I don’t have it all together and I’m not trying to pretend anymore like I do. I’ve healed from the majority of the things that should’ve kept me down. This book is for all the sippin’ Christians who sometimes slip and trip but know God still got us!

For more information on “Mess With A Message” click HERE.