Clay From 'Love Is Blind' Talks About His Answer At The Altar

Source: Courtesy / Netflix

Besides you and AD, who have you enjoyed watching on Love Is Blind and who have you kept in touch with from the show?

Clay: So I’ve been enjoying Jimmy right now. I didn’t know Jimmy was being that devious like in real life because Jimmy was telling all the guys that him and Chelsea had the best vibe, so to see some of the scenes that are going on with Jimmy and Chelsea is kind of crazy because Jimmy was telling us a whole different thing when we were filming. I thought Jimmy and Chelsea were rock solid. Even when Jimmy didn’t come to the bachelor party that was a shocking thing. Jimmy had the most dates in the pods and then when Jimmy came out with Chelsea he was just bragging to all the guys about how dope his vibe was with Chelsea so it’s very shocking and entertaining to watch his part. I’m going to give him a hard time when I see him.

Also, it’s always good to watch my boy Johnny. I just support Johnny. Me and Johnny are really super tight. I would say I’m closest with him and Ken out of everybody on the show from the guy side. So it’s  always good watching Johnny, because I think Johnny is a really authentic guy and I love him and Amy and I love the fact that the world gets to get introduced to Johnny because he really is a good dude.

You opened up alot about your childhood and how your parents relationship affected you. Did that shape what you think an ideal marriage looks like?

Clay: The interesting thing about me doing this show — I came in a little naive. I always felt that if I just had enough time to put into relationship that I could have successful one, so I’ve never really thought that my parents not having successful marriage and my trauma that came with their marriage would affect my relationships. I never really took it that seriously until I was in an environment where you’re just around love. When I was in the pods with AD, I felt like I wasn’t able to get that connection with her because I really wanted her and I’m like, ‘Man I’m at a crossroads, I’m not getting to the point where I feel as though that this is something where we can get engaged.’ So I knew that I had to change whatever I was doing and definitely open up. I learned a lot as I was filming.

What was it like for you to witness scenes where you were fully realizing something had to shift in the way that you were approaching relationships?

Clay: I think while I was in the pods, the way I dated it was really based off of pleasure and I think now that I did the whole experiment, I’m looking more so for purpose in my relationships because I think it’s more about building the foundation with your partner. I think I approach relationships a little bit more selfishly and even as I’m watching this, it’s almost like you’re watching tape on yourself on what you do right and what you do wrong and I believe that in the relationship there was a lot of things that I could have done a lot better. I think I could have complimented AD a little bit more and just been a little bit more attentive. You live and learn. I was going through a lot, so I’m trying to give myself grace but also identifying that there’s things I could do better.

One thing I really appreciated about this season is they showed your parents and AD’s mom more than we’ve ever really seen in the past seasons. In the wedding episode, your parents have a really profound conversation after you make your decision, I was curious if either of them talked to you about what was said in that conversation.

Clay: I was a little nervous about that being filmed. You’re always a little nervous when your family trauma or drama goes on the TV screen. We’ve been preparing ourselves and everything that I said on camera was true, even me expressing the fact that my dad groomed me as a kid, that was really the first time I’ve said that out loud. I kind of held that deep in me and I realized that for me to get to the next stage and be able to be to the point where I can marry AD I need to relieve some of these demons that I have, because I don’t even feel like men can be faithful. I think that as preparation as this show was coming out we definitely had a lot of conversations, however with my dad it’s a little bit dicey. We still haven’t had that conversation she [Clay’s mom] was asking him to have. We didn’t have that conversation yet. Me and my dad have a great relationship and even with me, it’s a little bit hesitant approaching him authentically like, ‘Hey dad we probably need to talk about this, because this is messing me up.’ I do believe when my dad sees the scene that happened on Episode 7 and also the the scene at the wedding I do think he’ll probably have that conversation with me and we’ll probably you know try to seek some healing together.

Speaking of seeking healing, has this experience encouraged you to seek therapy? Have you been working on yourself since filming Love Is Blind?

Clay: I’ve definitely been going to therapy. I’ve actually tried out two therapists and I found one that I actually like. She focuses on behavioral practices for me to change my habits which I like. I had a therapist previously and he was a little bit more spiritual. It was good, but he was a guy and I felt like he wasn’t really holding me accountable so I had to go to a woman therapist and that’s been going really well for me. Honestly I’ve got to give myself grace. I feel like on the show I was really like hard on myself and so now it’s moreso I’m just making sure that I’m just kind to myself and understand that things take time and I think therapy is really helping me be patient with myself.

There’s been a lot of controversy about Black women getting the short end of the stick on these dating shows and our audiences have been dying for some Black love. Did you feel the pressure to deliver that?

Clay: I don’t know most of these people. I’ve only been doing stuff for myself, my family, my friends, the people who love me. They know what my heart is. It’s hard to kind of carry the weight of the whole Black community on your shoulders. It’s not really something that’s sustainable because you’re always going to make somebody mad. Somebody’s always gonna have something to say. All I would say is that I love Black women. Black women have definitely been amazing in my life. You could see it from the representation from my mom and my sister. I’ve always dated Black women.

I also want to say for Black women, sometimes when you look at the media, the media does not portray Black love but if you really look deep at what’s going on in real life, Black people date Black people. It’s all around us. It’s just you have to not be so consumed what’s going on with the media. I do hear the narrative that Black people are not represented, Black men will date interracial women or white women and I’m just like, if you look at some statistics most Black men are actually with Black women. I’ve always grown up with Black men around Black women so I don’t really necessarily agree with the narrative, but I also understand because if you look at the media that’s what it portrays. I’m sympathetic to that as well, but I do not carry that weight on my shoulder.

Source: Courtesy / Netflix

In the finale episode, you’re shocked that it seems to be the end of the road for you and AD. Were you hoping to continue dating after saying no at the altar?

Clay: I was. I thought a lot of things about the marriage,  I felt like with the timeline there were a lot of these things in my head and I felt like the one thing that I knew for sure was that me and AD had an electric chemistry, however I just didn’t feel as though it was the right time for us to be married. I thought that some holes in our relationship weren’t addressed. A lot of stuff that wasn’t aired on film, a lot of stuff that I didn’t say, because I did want to make sure that she was presented in the best light. I didn’t want to talk about these certain things on camera because I just didn’t think it really mattered in the grand scheme of things. I did want to continue dating her outside of the whole show because I thought we did really have a strong and electric dynamic, but AD, I think the wedding was a lot for her, with me saying no to her in front of her family, it was a little traumatic.  I’m definitely sympathetic to her not wanting to continue our relationship.

Typically there is a reunion for this, have you started bracing yourself?  The things that you didn’t say on camera would you say them if you were put in a corner on a reunion?

Clay: No I won’t.

Source: Netflix / Netflix

Do you have any anxiety about the upcoming reunion?

Clay: There’s always anxiety when it comes to Love is Blind. At the end the day, I will come as myself. I’m gonna answer the questions as authentically as I can.  At the end of the day,  I’m happy about the fact that I was myself and with me being my authentic self I’m able to evaluate the things I need to do better. Because I was 100 with myself through this whole process, I can be happy with that and I know that there’s going to be a lot of tough questions that I have to answer, but at the end of the day I lived it and as long as I speak my truth, some people might not agree with me, they probably never would have agreed with me, and that’s fine, but I do think that there will be some people that understand my perspective, because I am coming from a very realistic perspective.

I was trying to do everything the correct way. I feel we had an electric chemistry.  I do feel like it could have worked. Watching this is kind of hard because you’re looking at the relationship like ‘Man, me and AD really were good.’ I guess we’ll have to answer more questions on that when it comes to reunion.

If  AD would be open to it, would you date her again?

Clay: I would definitely date her again.

Any regrets?

Clay: I don’t think there are any regrets.  I think I have some regrets as to like, ‘Damn why the hell was I on the show?’ When they were killing me in the first six episodes. I honestly receive it all.  I do think it’s the biggest blessing to be a fly on the wall in your life and I do think there are things that I think that I need to get better at. I definitely have a very confident demeanor and sometimes with that confident demeanor, you could live in a delusional bubble.  For the first week that bubble was popped and I’m insecure now, and I’m emotional. I take it all in stride. It’s a humbling experience.  It’s a little bit of something new for me to go through, but I do think that God doesn’t make any mistakes and I’ll be stronger from this so no regrets. It just feels weird going through it.

All 12 episodes of Season 6 of Love Is Blind are currently streaming on Netflix.  The Season 6 reunion is set to air next Wednesday, March 13th.