I have an issue I need help addressing. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 7 years now and we’ve definitely had our ups and downs and been through a lot together but I never would have suspected this. In all the years we’ve been together, all of our family members used to pressure us to get married and because we didn’t know anyone who was happily married, we never felt the need. Well last year around my birthday (August) I had mentioned that we should just go ahead and jump the broom since we’d been together for so long and thought he was open to the idea because he didn’t fight it or say anything against it. Around the first of December I found a receipt from a jewelry store on a credit card that I knew nothing about and it was obviously an expensive piece of jewelry. My assumption was that it was an engagement ring and that he would pop the question on Christmas in front of both of our families and it never happened. I waited a few days thinking he would do it on New Year’s Eve and it never happened. When I confronted him about, he went dumb on me and acted as if I didn’t know what I was talking about. I’ve been with him for almost 8 years so I know when he’s lying and he was obviously lying. I can no longer fin d the receipt and the credit card he used it not in his wallet, of course. My worst fear is that he’s cheating on me and gifted someone else because the day after Christmas he said hew as going to his sister’s house and didn’t come back until the next morning. I know better than to call her and ask because she will always cover for him. My friends say he’s cheating but I’m hoping that he did in fact buy an engagement ring and that he will eventually propose because we’re not getting any younger, we’ll both be 30 this year! Is this wishful thinking?
Good day and Happy New Year to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! Wow! That’s quite a brain-racer you have going on. Well, sis, here’s the deal: you’ve been with this man for almost a decade and you thought he was going to get on bended knee and ask for your hand in marriage the traditional way when no parts of your relationship has been conventional thus far! So, why now? Is probably what he’s thinking. He’s had all the privileges and benefits of a marriage without the commitment, so, where’s the incentive to take the plunge at this point? The excitement of finding the receipt and having been with him or so long are all valid reason to believe that he had the intentions to propose, but the heartache of the reality that he did not is the most hurtful, right? Understood, so now what do you do?
The part about not being able to locate the receipt and credit card used to purchase the jewelry item is highly questionable, especially since he didn’t make it home the night after Christmas! If his Mom and sisters didn’t get gifted from a jewelry store and there was no proposal … just where is this phantom diamond? Maybe he did crash at his sister’s house! But, if he didn’t, he knows you well enough to know that you won’t call her and that he’s already gotten away with whatever dirt he may have done! The time you’ve spent together works against you in these kinds of situations because he knows you! You’re not going to investigate his story and you’re not going anywhere, in his eyes. You see? A woman’s intuition seldom fails her, so again, now what do you do?
Regardless of if he has a side piece, you need to decide whether or not you want to continue on with this relationship. You two have been together for a long time but you’re still young enough to move on with someone who is willing to fulfill your needs. If you want to be married and start a family, you should do so with someone who is equally as interested and shares the same goals! Yes, you will be 30 this year and, no, you’re not getting any younger so it’s time to get serious about the things you want in life and a relationship. You’re still plenty young but you do not have the time to waste – worried about receipts, mystery credit cards and the like. So, don’t press the issue. Don’t even ask about it again, just be still. Be still and decide if he’s really what you want or what you’ve found comfort in and gotten used to. If the relationship is worth saving, realize that it’s going to take more work than you’ve put in and it has to go both ways! However, if you’re not secure, fulfilled or completely confident in the relationship you’re in now, then by all means you have to find the courage and strength to move on! Be still and reevaluate, sis! Be still! Hope this helps!
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