Dear Bossip: I Found a Receipt but Got No Gift!

- By Bossip Staff

I have an issue I need help addressing. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 7 years now and we’ve definitely had our ups and downs and been through a lot together but I never would have suspected this. In all the years we’ve been together, all of our family members used to pressure us to get married and because we didn’t know anyone who was happily married, we never felt the need. Well last year around my birthday (August) I had mentioned that we should just go ahead and jump the broom since we’d been together for so long and thought he was open to the idea because he didn’t fight it or say anything against it. Around the first of December I found a receipt from a jewelry store on a credit card that I knew nothing about and it was obviously an expensive piece of jewelry. My assumption was that it was an engagement ring and that he would pop the question on Christmas in front of both of our families and it never happened. I waited a few days thinking he would do it on New Year’s Eve and it never happened. When I confronted him about, he went dumb on me and acted as if I didn’t know what I was talking about. I’ve been with him for almost 8 years so I know when he’s lying and he was obviously lying. I can no longer fin d the receipt and the credit card he used it not in his wallet, of course. My worst fear is that he’s cheating on me and gifted someone else because the day after Christmas he said hew as going to his sister’s house and didn’t come back until the next morning. I know better than to call her and ask because she will always cover for him. My friends say he’s cheating but I’m hoping that he did in fact buy an engagement ring and that he will eventually propose because we’re not getting any younger, we’ll both be 30 this year! Is this wishful thinking?

Good day and Happy New Year to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! Wow! That’s quite a brain-racer you have going on. Well, sis, here’s the deal: you’ve been with this man for almost a decade and you thought he was going to get on bended knee and ask for your hand in marriage the traditional way when no parts of your relationship has been conventional thus far! So, why now? Is probably what he’s thinking. He’s had all the privileges and benefits of a marriage without the commitment, so, where’s the incentive to take the plunge at this point? The excitement of finding the receipt and having been with him or so long are all valid reason to believe that he had the intentions to propose, but the heartache of the reality that he did not is the most hurtful, right? Understood, so now what do you do?

The part about not being able to locate the receipt and credit card used to purchase the jewelry item is highly questionable, especially since he didn’t make it home the night after Christmas! If his Mom and sisters didn’t get gifted from a jewelry store and there was no proposal … just where is this phantom diamond? Maybe he did crash at his sister’s house! But, if he didn’t, he knows you well enough to know that you won’t call her and that he’s already gotten away with whatever dirt he may have done! The time you’ve spent together works against you in these kinds of situations because he knows you! You’re not going to investigate his story and you’re not going anywhere, in his eyes. You see? A woman’s intuition seldom fails her, so again, now what do you do?

Regardless of if he has a side piece, you need to decide whether or not you want to continue on with this relationship. You two have been together for a long time but you’re still young enough to move on with someone who is willing to fulfill your needs. If you want to be married and start a family, you should do so with someone who is equally as interested and shares the same goals! Yes, you will be 30 this year and, no, you’re not getting any younger so it’s time to get serious about the things you want in life and a relationship. You’re still plenty young but you do not have the time to waste – worried about receipts, mystery credit cards and the like. So, don’t press the issue. Don’t even ask about it again, just be still. Be still and decide if he’s really what you want or what you’ve found comfort in and gotten used to. If the relationship is worth saving, realize that it’s going to take more work than you’ve put in and it has to go both ways! However, if you’re not secure, fulfilled or completely confident in the relationship you’re in now, then by all means you have to find the courage and strength to move on! Be still and reevaluate, sis! Be still! Hope this helps!

What are your thoughts, Bossip fam? Please leave them below!

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  • Be Honest!

    Ummmm. He gifted another broad boo boo. Move on and find someone else. He’s playing with your emotions.

    • Kyra

      1 in 5 relationships start online…ready for a romantic filled 2011!

      Someone recommended me a nice community~ Bl ackwhiteC upid / Co m ~where b lack & w hite sin gles are looking for lovers to share interracial lifestyle with…you may check it out or tell your friends.

      Happy New Year! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€
      heโ€™s cheating AND about to marry her so you MUST move around.

    • Tuenesha

      Yes mam! You are so right! She is hoping for a dream that’s not reality! She has wasted her youth on him, hope she wakes up and doesn’t waste one more moment on that lost cause!

  • loveme23

    She’s an idiot

  • lizalex

    he is a liar and a cheat; run now before u waste anymore time in this sorry situation

  • >>>>>

    At first I would say maybe he’s just slow on asking but the fact that he disappeared the night after Christmas…

    And denied knowing anything about the jewelry OR the credit card….

    AND ya’ll been together for “almost 8 years” tells me…

    Dude ain’t sh*t. You need to pick up and run. Actually you did it to yourself. You shoulda neva stayed with some dude who ain’t slapped a ring on it – for that long.

    • Tuenesha

      Amen! She did do it to herself! she was too young in the beginning for a serious relationship like that. No 30 is looming it’s ugly head and what has she got to show for it?? Nothing but heart ache and the beginning of crows feet! sad sad sad

  • BE

    If he indeed bought her an engagement ring, he’d better come clean NOW. Men are not at liberty to act suspicious. If he did buy another girl a gift, that’s f*cked up.

  • jay

    Sweety, he’s creeping. Even worse– he’s in love with her and wants her to be his wife. You’re not the one. I’m sorry.

  • Moanmyname

    All of you guys are saying she need to get up and run. Run run run. Sometimes its not that easy. Running away wont solve the hurt in her heart. what happens when she miss him after she move. Go out and ho herself out? 8 yrs is alot of time to waste on someone and iys not so easy to tell your heart to give up

    • Tuenesha

      It sure is that’s why after 3 years I would have been ready to bounce! 8 years is ridiculous and he’s been there had that and has no real reason to commit fully. He obviously has BEEN cheating by her story, so what’s her issue? She’s gotten stuck in a rut and now has to determine is she has the courage to move on or if she’s going to allow herself to be thrown to the side when he gets over his guilt. Its all about pride.

  • nwilson

    Wait, she finds a receipt for jewelry and KNOWS that’s what she saw and he wants to act like she don’t know what she’s talking about? Girl, look, your mama did’nt raise no fool! Now wake up and see it for what it is, BULLSHIT!

  • B

    The fact that the receipt and credit card can’t be found anymore are signs that something is up. But u guys live together so look through his things while he’s not home. Most women need proof of infidelity in order to find closure. So next time he goes to his “sister’s” house for the night, drive by late at night and see if he’s really there. U’ll find the answers to your questions if u just look for them. It’s not crazy, it’s a necessity when your man is lying to u.

  • sanriobaby =^.^=

    At first, this seems like he did buy her a ring and was holding on to it waiting for the RIGHT moment, but not necessesarily waiting for the holidays. But, when confronted, he denied everything and then supposingly spent the night at his sister’s house. I hate to say it, but it sounds like he’s cheating and she should leave him. On the REMOTE chance that he’s been completely faithful, maybe he changed his mind about marrying her once he found out that she was snooping through his stuff. Nothing is more invasive and hurtful then when your privacy has been violated without merit. Either way, they both need to seriously talk about thier relationship because the trust btwn them has been broken. Best of luck to them…

    • 8ESBABY

      Seriously, who PURCHASES a ring because they MAY propose IF the right moment comes along??? NO ONE because that’s just silly and pointless. He bought the ring for someone else and stayed the night at her house when confronted about it. Case solved.

    • >>>>>


      Your name is right on point “baby” cause your not the brightest crayon in the box.

      Experience will fix that right up.

    • that damn sh#$ disturber

      i actually thought the same thing and found nothing wrong with your statement. he’s obviously cheating but on that one in a million chance that he’s not, then the reasons you gave are probably why she didn’t get the ring.

  • What The French???

    it’s yoooooooooou! You’re the scandalous man in the letter aren’t you?? lmao

    seriously, shacking up is not a commitment. it’s just a verbal agreement and ain’t no way in hell we wouldn’t be co-sharing benefits packages after 8 years!! he wasted her time and she wasted her own.


    I can no longer fin d the receipt and the credit card he used

    WHAT??!! Girl that’s evidence! YOU DO NOT LEAVE IT WHERE YOU FOUND IT! Oh yeah, umm…he’s cheating AND about to marry her so you MUST move around.

  • some sense

    Its funny how the dude is taking all the blame when she is the one choosing to still put up with this. She is mainly with him now because she wants to be married and she figures it might as well be with him because they’ve been in a relationship for so long.


    HE most likely thought about it and changed his mind but he isnt going to tell you that.

    • JaZzIe91

      I was thinking that too

    • Eli

      Me too. Which still means she should bounce.

  • lmao. .

    u beta leave i bet he g0t a sec0nd life 0n dat asz . wen u saw that reciept iz tha day he pr0p0sed t0HIZ 0THA GRL

  • Ashley J

    My dad may not have been much of a father but he did make sure I knew a couple of very important pieces of information….If you are in a relationship longer than a year and there have been no efforts made on the man’s part to committ (engagement) then he already knows that you’re not the one for him. A real man knows what he wants and it doesn’t take him all day to go get it!

  • Ruby

    Bounce and don’t look back. The longer you stay with your boyfriend the longer it will take you to meet Mr. Right.


    Leave this dude ASAP. But before you do get your REVENGE. He needs payback for wasting your time, giving him s@x, cooking, cleaning & not committing to you.

  • Greeneyedbandit

    @jay,that’s true.And Why would she wanna marry into a family that lie for him?Cause if the sister lie for him,That might be where he cheat at too!

  • ThickLikeCornbread

    U shoulda left after 2yrs with no ring

    Then, the disappearing act at his “sisters” house is unacceptable

    Cut ur losses now b4 ur vag starts to lose its eggs & its lubrication

    • IKnowRite

      DaM, that’s some funny ish!

    • Eli


  • dcmbklyn

    Sorry but unfortunately you painting the picture that marriage was not a priority for you and he listened. Now you want to change the game in the ninth inning. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. If marriage was on the menu you should have ordered it….

  • thewife

    leave him!

  • JaZzIe91

    She said her friends and family pressures her and the boyfriend to get married.

    Reading is fundamental. You should try it..

  • beenthereb4

    Girlfriend he is cheating. If a man truly wants to get married he will and it won’t take eight years to figure out of your the one, move on because at 30 sweetie you are in the prime of hour life don’t waste and more of your energy on him!!!!!

  • shut the fu*ck up

    why buy the cow when the milk is free
    if you are living with your man so long that everyone thinks that you are married chance of you making it legal is nil 7 to 8 years is too long to get a ring out of it

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