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I got a situation you could break down for me. Me and my girl have been together for 7 years and we have 2 kids. We were young when we got together and once we had our son we decided to stay together and be a family. Our son was born when I was 25 she was 23 and I wasn’t ready for marriage and she wasn’t either so we decided to hold off on it. As young and immature as we were at the time we managed to buy a house a give our son a good start. A year ago we had another son and the workload doubled along with the bills and stresses of daycare, work and homelife. We’re very close and friends before anything else so I thought we could talk to each other about anything but she shut down on me after the baby was born. We had our arguments and for a while she didn’t want to have sex with me and to be honest I didn’t either and after months of riffin and beefin we had a long talk and we had sex but she didn’t feel the same. I’ve been committed ot my position as a father and fiance and never cheated. Now that we’re both in our 30s I know what a woman goes through in regard to sexual desires so I don’t want to think she’s been cheating but she feels like she has. I hope that my imagination is getting the best of me an that I’m just paranoid but I have this gut feeling. Am I bugging or has she stepped out?

Good day to you, sir! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! So you and your lady were at odds and after a dry spell you’ve drawn the conclusion that she’s been cheating because she doesn’t “feel that same.” Although you didn’t really explain how she felt different, how did she feel? Was she cold? Was she distant? Was she just not into it or disconnected? Maybe she wasn’t mentally present? So, what did she really feel like … kinda like a wife? A wife that’s exhausted by her responsibilities to the kids, the house and her partner? What you must take into consideration is that couples, whether married by law or commonwealth, go through this kind of thing everyday. Relationships evolve through phases and this might be the part where your fiance is learning how to balance the many aspects of her life and, at the end of the day, she might not have a whole lot to give to you in the bedroom. It happens.

On the other end of the spectrum, if you’re saying that her lady parts don’t feel the same, then here’s something to consider. Men, without a doubt, know their woman’s body and it has been said that a man knows when his woman has been unfaithful. However, what you should take into consideration is this: women have needs too and she may be keeping a secret from you. You may be able to find this “secret” tucked away in the back of her drawer or shoebox in the back of the closet. Are you following? In other words, she may have a battery operated friend that she uses from time to time to satisfy her urges. But if this is not at all a factor, you may need to explore your suspicions. If you’re fiends before anything else, sit her down and ask all the questions that you’re ready to hear the answers to. From there, you can draw your conclusions! But if she’s given you no reason to be suspicious, then you should rest easy that you have not been betrayed.

So, sir. Here’s the deal, relationships are not always roses and love songs, they do have their pockets of hardship but if the both of you are committed to your boys and family life, it will work itself out. It’s understood that woman are perhaps the the sneakiest of genders and they do cheat. However, more often than not, if a woman has too much to lose, she’s not going to risk it for a quick romp with a virtual stranger … but there are exceptions to every theory. Again, you know her well enough to gauge her commitment to you your family and you know if she’s the kind of person to do such a thing. If she’s not, then trust in her and her love for you and those little boys. Don’t let your imagination propel doubt and distrust. Stop digging for dirt. Relax and breathe, sir. And good luck to you!

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