We’re in America, people! Be happy!
Men’s Health made a list of the healthiest cities to live in based on how sad they make you. The 10 saddest cities, though, seem awesome! Miami?! How can you be sad in Miami?! People are so spoiled.
10. Las Vegas, Nevada – How can you be sad in Vegas? People that are sad in Vegas must be the ones that lose all of their brothel money on slots and craps. That’s the only explanation.
9. Reno, Nevada – Reno 911! made Reno seem cool enough. It was full of hilarity! So why would people hate it? Beats us.
8. Miami, Florida – Maybe watching the Heat stink up the joint in the Finals added to the depression. Or the fact that Reggie Bush is in town didn’t help.
7. Birmingham, Alabama – They must actually be rapin’ everybody out there in B-Ham.
6. St. Louis – Well East St. Louis is one of the murder capitals of the country, so we can see the depression. But people still love it up there. But if we had to listen to Nelly and Chingy, we’d be sad too.
5. Louisville, KY We…um…actually don’t have anything to say about Kentucky. What goes on there?
4. Tampa Bay, Florida – It’s hosted Super Bowls and is a cool destination for people trying to have fun in Florida. You’re so lucky to be so close to Disney World! Don’t be sad living so close to Mickey.
3. Memphis, Tennessee – It’s the home of the blues. B.B. Kind and barbecue live there! You can listen to music and stuff your face in sauce. What’s bad about that? Okay, a bit of flooding might do the trick.
2. Detroit, Michigan – Okay…this one makes sense. No complaints here.
1. Fort Lauderdale, Florida – So much sadness in Florida! Damn, people. Go outside and smell the cakes.