Dear Bossip: I Accidentally Opened Pandora's Box By Tossing His Salad

Dear Bossip,

Alright! Here it goes. Go easy on me. I am 40-year old woman with and 27-year old boyfriend.

This man is amazing. He works, has no kids, and loves everything about me. So, during one night of our sexual peak my tongue slipped while giving him “sloppy toppy” and I licked his back part. Well, he seemed to enjoy it so much that I kept going until one time he actually turned over on all fours and asked me to do it again.

So, the problem is that he is enjoying this way too much for me to take in. It had me wondering if he is gay because now that’s all he wants from me. We do not have sex anymore. It’s just me pleasuring him only. So, I ask you if this man is bi-sexual and just loves to get his backs licked. Please tell me I’m wrong about this? – Lickety Lick

Dear Ms. Lickety Lick,

Welp, you’ve opened Pandora’s Box, and once she is open you can never close her again.

This accidental slip of the tongue probably freaked him out just as it did you, but at the same time it gave him such an enjoyable pleasure he has found a new way to be stimulated. And, like most folks who experience and discover new parts of themselves that are explored and stimulated during sexual acts they want to keep repeating it over and over again. They want to experience the sensation, the pleasure, and the euphoric feeling it provides them. And, for your man it’s getting his salad tossed!

I’m sure in all his experiences he’s never had a woman to play in or around that area. And, like most men they don’t want a woman anywhere near this part of their body. They consider it to be sacred and off-limits. And, it’s because they feel if someone puts a finger in, or lick that area then it will mean they are gay, because like most ignorant men they do not know that just because you like having your backs played with it does not mean you’re gay. Actually the back area, and underneath a man’s sac is an erogenous zone.

The prostate area is the male G-Spot. Many men find backdoor play pleasurable when they get accustomed to it. If you didn’t realize it, the prostate gland is the seat of a man’s org**mic response and the organ that initiates climax. So, the flickering and gentle licking of your tongue is providing him with new excitement and feeling.

You’ll be surprised by how many men, who are heterosexual, and gay, who love when their partner is skilled enough to pleasure them in this area. I receive so many questions about this, and have learned that in many heterosexual relationships that more and more men are seeking to be pleasured by their female partners because it’s new for them. It stimulates them in ways sending such a euphoric feeling from the balls of their feet to the top of their head. Simply imagine how you feel when he’s working jaws on you. Your body is weak, you can’t control your body, you’re gripping the edges of the bed and bed sheets, and you don’t want them to stop. That is exactly how a man feels.

So, now you’ve given your man a new and exciting way to be stimulated and excited. He doesn’t want anything else but to get on all fours, toot his behind in the air, and let you stick your tongue in and go to work. Does it mean he is gay? No. Does it mean he is bisexual? No. He just enjoys this new sensation and feeling. And, he wants it all the time. Now, if he asks you to get a ten-inch toy, and he lays on his back and throws his legs behind his head, well, uhm, now you got a problem! LOL!

I do wonder why he doesn’t want sex any longer. But, it’s nothing that honest communication cannot help repair and fix within your relationship. I suggest speaking with him and letting him know your desires and needs for sex, and your need to be pleasured just as much as he is being pleasured by you. Let him know that you enjoy making him feel good, and you’re glad he is allowing parts of himself to be explored, but there needs to be reciprocity in the relationship, and that you have needs and pleasures that you enjoy from him. And, list those things. Let him know what turns you on, what he does to you that make you feel good, and how you like it done. Also, ask him to share with you what your backyard play with him feels like. Let him express how it feels, and the excitement it gives him. Verbal expressions and having him give voice to his experience will allow both of you to be expressive around your sexual experiences, and a new way to stimulate one another verbally.

I also suggest that you do more role play, other experimenting, and other new and adventurous sexual positions. Slowly introduce these things, and maneuver yourself in bed with him to let him know that he needs to pay attention to your body as well. Again, communicate honestly with him, and express your desires and needs. Now, the next time he wants to toot his behind in the air, get some whip cream, chocolate syrup, and other flavored lubricants and go to town. And, when you’re down, turn over and let him do the same to you. Have fun! – Terrance Dean

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