Dear Bossip: He Went Out Of Town, But I See Pics Of Him & His Baby Momma

Dear Bossip,

Last week my boyfriend went out of town to go work with his uncle, which is all fine and dandy.

He gave me a call on Saturday and he hasn’t called since. Before he left, and when he called on Saturday, he said he was coming back on Tuesday. Well, this is why I’m upset.

So, on Monday, I was doing a little snooping, but something was just telling me that something wasn’t right. I admit that when you go looking for stuff where you don’t have no business you might get your feelings hurt.

So, any who, I went on his mother’s Facebook page through my friends page because I don’t have an account. His mother writes a status on Monday saying, “Yay! My baby is here, my baby is here.” He told me he was going to visit his mom while he was down there doing work for his uncle. So, something just told me to look at her comments and it read, “My son and his girlfriend and my granddaughter are here.” I’m supposed to be his girlfriend, so who the heck is she talking about?

I already knew he was there with his 1^st baby mama and their daughter.  Now I’m pissed. Then, here comes Wednesday morning and she posts a pic of his daughter, then she posts another pic of him and his baby mama together without the child. So, all the signs are saying they are together and have a relationship, and they are more than just co-parenting.

I confront him because I had a feeling he was at her house. I went there, and he’s trying to tell me I’m tripping and that she only gave him a ride from him mom’s house because his uncle went to jail and couldn’t give him a ride. I was like, “Why you posing in a picture with just you two like you are a couple.” He says, “Well, my mom asked for a picture of us. So, I just took it. I didn’t think nothing of it.”

I told him that he obviously gave the impression to his mom that he and his baby mother were still together and I’m not even in the picture. He said the reason he couldn’t call me is because he didn’t have any more minutes and his family doesn’t have phones to call out to my number. Mind you, his baby mother tried to call the police on me because me and him were arguing outside the apartment. She says she’s going to get evicted all because she wanted to call the police.

I told him that didn’t have anything to do with he and I, and she is the one who called the police. I didn’t do anything to her. So, now they’re trying to put the blame on me. If you ask me it all sounds like a bunch of bull-ish.

I don’t know whether to think if the mom is being messy or if he’s just lying. He said he called his mom and yelled at her and asked her why did she put that pic of him and his baby mother on Facebook because it makes it seem like they are together. So, she later put another status up talking crap and saying I’m not about to take the picture of my son and his family off. I was like how is she calling you a family if you’re not together?

Mind you he has two kids, but he doesn’t spend time with his second baby mother like he does with the first one. Both of his daughters are 5 months apart and I’m not one of his baby mothers. I want to know what do you think I should do. – Something Isn’t Right

Dear Ms. Something Isn’t Right,

Who has time for all this foolish? Girl, stop. Stop and grow up. Listen to what he’s telling you. Pay attention to all the clues staring at you in your face.

First things first – Why are you dating a man who has two baby momma’s? Why are you dating a man who has two children by two different women and the children are 5 months apart? This means he was cheating on his first baby momma with the second baby momma. Thus, we can deduce he is not faithful, not to be trusted, and is a liar.

Second, let’s take at face value that he went out of town to help his uncle. And, let’s take at face value that while he was out of town his uncle got arrested. So, he’s stuck out of town and has no way of getting home. But, he was able to call his baby mother, and she drove all the way out of town to go get him and to bring him back home. My question is why didn’t he call you, his current girlfriend, to come and get him if he was stuck out of town?

Third, he comes back into town, and you still haven’t heard from him. Yet, he’s posted up at his baby mother’s house. HUH?!?!

See, you’re so misguided and focused on one thing that you clearly haven’t thought any of this through properly. Your energy is directed toward his baby mother, and it’s because you don’t like her, you’re jealous of her, and you want to find a way to confront her. Your boyfriend is the problem. Your boyfriend is the liar. Your boyfriend is the one who is unfaithful. Your boyfriend is the one telling you lies, telling his baby momma lies, and telling his own momma lies.

When you went to his baby momma house to confront him and he tells you that his uncle got arrested and he had no way to get home, the only thing you were concerned with was why his mother was posting pics of him, his baby momma, and their child on Facebook. You didn’t even ask him why didn’t he call you to come pick him up.

You didn’t even confront him about the so-called lie that he had no minutes on his phone and that is why you haven’t heard from his since Saturday. But, he was able to somehow get in touch with his baby momma and tell her to come get him.

You didn’t even confront him about the other lie that his mother and no one in his family had a phone that dials out to call you. HUH? Girl, bye! You should have stopped, tilted your head, looked him dead in his eyes, and reached all the way back and slapped the dog –ish out of him for that one right there. (I kid!!) LOL!

You didn’t even confront him about his uncle who was arrested. Really, arrested? For what? Is he still in jail?

You haven’t heard from your boyfriend since Saturday. He comes back home on Wednesday, and he is at his baby momma house. He didn’t come straight to you. He didn’t even call you. Therefore, yes, his mother is correct. They are a family. They are still together. They are in a relationship. You are the side chick.

When you and he were arguing outside of her apartment and she called the police, he took sides with her because you rolled up to her residence causing a ruckus. You rolled up like you were his woman. Well, sweetie, did he leave with you, or did he stay with her? BOOM! BAM! POW!

Look, the moment he told you that he was going out of town with his uncle for work, and for whatever reason his baby momma ended up with him at his momma’s house, and he knew you would find out, so, he’s had time to come up with a lie to tell you. What he didn’t anticipate was you going on Facebook and going to his momma’s page and seeing the pictures. Now, he’s back peddling. He still hasn’t explained why you haven’t heard from him since Saturday. No minutes or not, he was able to call his baby momma. And, he got back home without his uncle. Why weren’t you the first place he came when he returned home? And, the real reason he didn’t call you to come to pick him up is because he wasn’t ready for you to meet his mother. He’s not that serious about you, and he had, has, nor have any intentions on introducing you to his mother.

So, you can stew and be mad at her, but your boyfriend is the liar. He’s been playing you, still playing, and will keep playing you because you will believe anything that comes out of his mouth.

You have all the proof you need. You can ask him to come forward with the truth, and what really happened. You can ask him why he didn’t call you to come get him instead of his baby momma. You can ask him if he ever had any intentions on introducing you to his mother. You can ask all kinds of questions, but the reality is, he is not your man. He is not boyfriend material, for you. He is not someone you should be spending your time or energy with. You are rolling up at his baby momma house to confront him. That’s pathetic and sad. You shouldn’t be arguing with a man outside his baby momma’s house. Have some damn dignity, and be a lady. Have some respect for yourself. The hell you look like being a bird for some man who isn’t worth your time. – Terrance Dean

Photo courtesy: Shuttershock

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