Dear Bossip: My Stud Girlfriend Gets Upset When I'm Online Liking Other Studs' Pics

Dear Bossip,

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 4 months.

Recently, she’s been tripping over my social media activities. She has been flipping out about whose pictures I like (because they are studs). She also started tripping about the friends I speak with. She’s had a problem with about 3 of them (again because they’re studs). She even gave me an ultimatum to stop speaking to a friend or she’d walk out on our relationship.

I love her and all, but I think this may be a bit excessive especially when I’ve never done anything besides being faithful and loyal to her. She’s even upset at the clothes I wear and how I do my make-up, which has never switched from the moment she has met me. I’m 23 years old and a mom. I dress accordingly, but I’m young enough to keep it sexy. Please help. Am I crazy or is she really insecure? – Not Doing Anything

Dear Ms. Not Doing Anything,

Your relationship is still new. It’s been all of four months. So, it still has some of that freshness to it. But, yes, your girlfriend is insecure. I’m not sure if you’re giving her a reason, or if she brought these issues of insecurity with her, but you’re not helping matters if you’re online liking other studs pictures. Why are you liking other women’s pictures? Are you looking for something more with them? Are you attracted to them? Or, are you just liking them because they are you friends?

There is a lot not being said, but a lot being said in your letter. For example, you’re a 23 year old mom. Thus, you are either bisexual (because you have a child and I assume that you have had relationships with men in the past. Or, maybe you’re gay). But, I gather you told your girlfriend that you’re bisexual, and if she thinks you’re bisexual, then there is the strong possibility she feels that you will leave her for: 1.) a man. Or, 2.) another stud.

You obviously like studs, considering you’re online liking their pictures, and the majority of your female friends are studs. You find them attractive, and now that you’re in a relationship with a stud, she has some concerns. I wonder how the two of you met? Hmmmm. Also, if you’re lipstick lesbian, considering you wear make-up, dresses, and are more feminine, then, I am sure you like the attention of studs, and I am sure they are drawn to you.

But, I do want you to be aware that there are some red flags being exhibited, and you need to take note. If she is controlling how you dress, and gets upset with the way you wear your clothes, and your make-up, then this may not be the relationship for you. Also, if she is getting upset about the friends you’re talking with, and she wants you to stop talking with them, and she is dictating who you can hang out with, where you can go, questioning where you are going, what you’re doing, and who you’re doing it with, then, again, this may not be the relationship for you.

She is attempting to control you and the relationship. If she can dictate what you wear, where you are going, who you are hanging out with, and isolate you from your friends, then eventually the relationship will turn physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive.

Her insecurities will persist, regardless if you stop talking with your friends, change how you dress, and monitor how you look and your make-up. She will start asking to check your phone, stalking your social media pages, constantly questioning you and your movements, and getting upset when you talk with friends she is not aware of. You can either walk away now, save yourself the headache of having to prove your undying love, care, and wanting to be in a relationship. Or, you can end it, move on, and continue dating. I kind of think that’s what you really want to do anyway. You don’t want a committed relationship, you really would prefer to date and have fun. You’re young, and looking to mingle. If that’s the case, then do you. – Terrance Dean

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