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Bubba Wallace was not the target of a hate crime. That’s what the FBI told us yesterday after doing an “investigation”. The Federal Bureau says that the noose found by Wallace’s crew member had been hanging from the garage door in Talladega since 2019.

Pardon our skepticism but Black.

As we predicted, the back half of yesterday’s news cycle was filled with conservative talking heads, the ones as white as fresh mayo and those black as squid ink, yammering on about how Bubba is Jussie Smollett 2.0, NASCAR owes fans an apology and all sorts of self-hating logic that reinforce their perpetual coon-dom.

Today, presumably to clear the air, NASCAR released a photo of the rope that was found so that everyone can see exactly why Bubba’s crew was taken aback.

The FBI told us that the noose that is clearly a noose is actually a “garage door pull rope”. Again, skeptical because Black. ESPN’s NASCAR expert Marty Smith Jr. reports the following:

So almost 2,000 garages and only ONE had a noose in it? And that garage is the one that belongs to the only Black driver in the whole sport?

Walks like duck? Check. Quacks like duck? Check. Has feathers, wings, a beak, makes duck sounds? Check, check, check, and…check.

Sure sounds like a ducKKK to us. The person(s) who conducted the FBI “investigation” should come to the front of the congregation, we have several questions.

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