Georgia GOP Wants Herschel Walker's Campaign Funds

Herschel Walker hasn’t been in the news much since he failed to unseat Sen. Raphael Warnock and replace him as a representative of Georgia in the U.S. Senate in 2022. Yep, Walker was white conservatives’ big, Black, “observably stupid” hype, and they had big plans for him to become Black people’s new MLK and lead us to the GOPromise Land—but that didn’t happen. Now, Republicans at the state and national level don’t seem to care where Herschel is, what he’s doing, or what his future plans are—they just want to know where all that campaign money went, because their pockets are flat and their bootstraps are not bootstrapping. 

Source: Alex Wong / Getty

From Politico:

Georgia and national Republicans, in dire need of money, are furious that Walker is sitting on more than $4 million in leftover campaign funds and seems to have no intention of using it to help the GOP or Donald Trump in the key battleground state in November.

With the Georgia Republican Party nearly broke and the Republican National Committee regularly getting outspent by its Democratic counterpart, Republicans say Walker’s unspent millions could go a long way toward addressing the GOP’s cash crunch.

So, Georgia Republicans are basically one bounced check away from driving for Uber Eats and they’re waiting for Walker to make it rain on them so these balling-out-of-control Democrats can stop making them look like broke beyotches who are still begging their wives to go 50/50 on the bills.

“Those resources were solicited and given to support his candidacy as a Georgia Republican, and unless he intends to use them again for his own candidacy, I sure hope the favor would be returned,” said John Watson, a former Georgia state GOP chair. “Georgia Republicans should be supported by those dollars in whatever legal fashion the campaign can.”

Source: Alex Wong / Getty

Personally, I’m sure Walker will do the right thing. I 100% believe in the integrity of the guy who falsely claimed he graduated from the University of Georgia—and then falsely claimed that he didn’t falsely claim to have graduated from the school. Georgia Republicans simply have no right to question the honesty of the man who claimed to be valedictorian at a high school that had no valedictorians and falsely claimed to be the founder of a charity for veterans. If Watson and the other Republicans aren’t careful, the King of Magical House Negroes will never share with them the secrets of the magic mist he claimed one could spray in their doorway that would “clean you from COVID as you walk through.” They need to stop casting dispersions on this great man, his secret children, or the numerous failed and/or faulty businesses on his resume. I’m sure he’s good for the money.

Heschel Walker is simply too busy being a fake cop with a fake badge, a fake FBI agent, a fake military veteran, and a fake vampire-hunting werewolf to concern himself with petty things like the millions in campaign funds that he probably just lost between his couch cushions. I’m sure Black George Santos does not appreciate his Republican brethren watching his pockets like this.

Source: Win McNamee / Getty

Anyway, Walker actually denied that he has the money in the first place.

“It wasn’t money left in my account. Everyone keeps saying that,” Walker told Politico.

Still, Republicans are not convinced.

“Republicans are being outspent everywhere up and down the ballot and there’s a significant sum of resources just sitting there,” said a Georgia GOP strategist, who spoke with Politico under the condition of anonymity. “It could be supporting Trump, who did a ton for Herschel’s campaign.”

It’s low-key hilarious that Republicans are hitting Walker with Miss Millie‘s “Trump has always been so good to you people” routine, and Walker is responding with Cedrick the Entertainer’s “Tell’em I ain’t got it” routine.

It’s hard out here for a political pimp.