Everybody loves tender time. Candles are lit. Music is playing. Wine is being enjoyed. But sometimes, it all goes astray.
The good folks at the ever-so-freaky The Gloss had a list of the most embarrassing things that can happen while making love and we couldn’t help but pass it along. Have any of these things happened to you? If so, tell your story.
“Performance Issues” – “Hey, it happens to everyone”…right? No matter how common it is for a man to have difficulty rising to the occasion, it still doesn’t stop him from wanting to jump off a cliff when it happens. Of all the bad things that can happen, this is the worst for a guy.
Throwing Up – We’ve all had those nights where we have a few drinks so we can get loose and ready to have some fun with a complete stranger. But if you toss back too many, the room starts spinning and you have to hit up the porcelain Gods for some counseling. What an embarrassing way to ruin the night!
Passing Out – If you’re too drunk to function, you best believe that passing out is next on your menu. And there’s nothing worse than getting your groove on and realizing that the person you’re with has fallen flat out asleep thanks to too many Jameson shots. Not cool, man.
Saying The Wrong Name – Ever been with someone then started trailing off thinking about the way your ex used to smang it across the room? Well, when that happens, you may blurt out that person’s name. Want to ruin a night and possibly a relationship? That’s the ticket. ‘
Dropping The L Bomb – Just because the loving is good doesn’t mean you’ve found the one. It’s easy to catch feelings while you’re knee-deep in the best you’ve ever had. But dropping L bombs early in the game is a surefire way to freak your partner out. Just stick to the ooh’s and ahh’s.
Fallinnnnnnnn – Ever get so into it…only to fall right off the side of the bed? That “thud” isn’t the headboard. It’s your head smacking the floor! It’s not hot to get a concussion in the middle of the tender time.
Letting One Rip – When someone takes you to a nice expensive steak dinner, your first inclination may be to offer your own repayment. Well don’t eat too much of that steak because you might let a little bit of that good dinner gas leak out while you’re all engaged in the carnal fun. Hopefully, your partner will have a sense of humor and ya’ll can laugh at it.
Get Walked In On – You ever get walked in on? It’s the worst! If your roommate does it, that’s one thing. But imagine your parents stepping in on you and see you mooning the sky. It’ll make you turn abstinent.
Getting Walked Out On – We’ve all had disappointing encounters in bed. But it takes some real cojones to actually call a timeout and walk out right in the middle of it because the session just wasn’t pleasurable. Just imagine how you’d feel getting the heave-ho all in the middle of your best move!
Having Your Cycle Start – It’s always tricky to get it on right when that time of the month is about to start. But hey, sometimes temptation gets ahold of you and you go for it anyway. But it’s every woman’s fear to have Red October start during all the fun.
Stinking Up The Place – It absolutely sucks to be getting ready to make things happen only to start noticing that rancid smell in the sheets. Please, ladies and gents, hit up that shower before getting in the bed. It’ll only take you 10 minutes and it can save a ton of embarrassment.
Going Over The Line – So you’re talking dirty. Getting really into it. Feeling frisky. Then it all falls apart right when you try to take things to the next level and utter something nobody wants to hear. Maybe it’s best not to mention using the broom, SPAM or the cookie sheet. Save that for later or you will get shut down and walked out on.